Insanity: 1. Doing the same thing over and expecting different results, 2. Loss of sanity, sometimes induced by stress and/or traumatic experiences, 3. Mental illness, 4. see; Hurdle, Clint

Addiction: 1. Emotional, unstoppable dependence on substance and/or feeling and emotion, 2. causing of the fan to constantly view games despite the atrocity on the television.

Specious: 1. Deceptively attractive, see; Rockies lineup, young pitchers.

Optimisim: 1. Positive view or hope on things, 2. Sometimes unreasonable yet constant belief that things will get better, despite everything that says otherwise.

Agonizing: 1) Beyond human ability to watch or endure without intense pain. 2) Protracted misery. 3) Colorado Rockies bullpen, the.

Bad: 1) Not good. 2) Them. 3) Our mental state.

Bullpen: 1) Relief pitchers used for AAAH REPRESSED REPRESSED NEED FREUD.

Calumny: 1) Lies, all lies. See: Existential crisis.

Causal efficacy: 1) The means by which one result follows another. 2) E.g. Late innings—> Foot through television.

Dodgers: 1) Useless species in blue possessed of many evil qualities (Jeff Kent, Brad Penny) but sadly few good ones (Dodger Dogs?)

Existential crisis: 1) Sudden questioning of self, personal beliefs, why one is sitting and waiting to be concussed with blunt objects, 2) Homicidal desire to make someone answer for this calumny.

Good: 1) What we currently are not. 2) We may be? Eventually?

Gullible: 1) What we are. 2) It’s not in the dictionary. 3) Really?

Faustian bargain: 1) A bad idea. 2) Looking like a good one.

Hell: 1) Where you will assuredly end up if you make the above. 2) Eh, what’s your point?

Love: 1) A feeling of strong positive emotional attachment. 2) We must feel it for these poltroons anyway. 3) Beats us why.

Mendacious: 1) Aggressively deceiving, cruel. 2) The world. See Existential crisis.

Misery: 1) A feeling of despair and unhappiness; the blues. 2) Works better in jazz, cretins. 3) Make it stoppp!

Poltroon: 1) Someone who is inept and totally useless at doing the job for which they are commissioned. 2) Also an annoying person. 3) Given attachment far beyond what they deserve. See Love.

Schneid: Prolonged FAIL at doing or producing anything of value. 2) Tulowitzki, Troy; Corpas, Manny.

Snakes: Type of generally poisonous reptiles that excel at slithering quietly up and biting you in the butt.

Sucker: 1) P.T. Barnum was onto something. Also: Sucker-punch.

Trepidation: 1) Sense of fear and nervousness stemming from anxious anticipation of event. 2) See Bullpen.

Better days: 1) October 2007. 2) Cannot get here fast enough.

Tulo: Seemingly cursed shortstop of the Colorado Rockies
Taveras: 1) Rockies leadoff hitter. 2) The Spanish word for “bunt”
Holliday: Currently the only decent hitter on the Rockies
Yorvit: 1) Latin catcher who is not in possesion of a bat. 2) See also: Theodore, Jose (Only when Ubaldo Jimenez is pitching)
Baker: Above average hitter who is playing out of position
Hawpe: Power hitter that cannot hit for power
Barmes: Placeholder
Wells: Lousy starter who is suprisingly not an abhorrence in the bullpen.
Helton: See: Hawpe, Brad
Spilborghs: 1) Funniest player in baseball 2) One who should play more
Iannetta: See definition 2 for Spilborghs, Ryan
Pods: Glorified pinch runner.
Speier: See: Iannetta, Chris
Francis: An ace without a win.
Atkins: Team MVP for April.
Cook: See: Atkins, Garrett
Herges: Overused reliever who was once on steroids.
Bucky: Completely underused reliever.
Ubaldo: See also: LaLoosh, Nuke
Fuentes: Once and future closer
Newman: Kramer’s friend and mailman on Seinfeld
Redman: The village idiot.
Morales: See: Jimenez, Ubaldo.
Corpas: Waste of $15 million.
Hurdle: Ringleader of this circus.

To somehow find so much humor during these exigent times. (Requiring great or extreme bodily, mental, or spiritual strength.) I’ve giggled and guffawed my way through a Monday!