Rockies Review: Now Suitable For Your Cell Phone

Okay loonies and gruntlemen, I have almost no time at all, so this is going to be depressingly wisecrack-free. Onwards and upwards. Plus my internet has been total fail, which doesn't help.

March 23: MIL 1 @ COL 7. 10-12.
Ubaldo pitched six scoreless innings, allowing three hits, two walks, and two strikeouts, apparently having the "good" switch tripped. Ya know, Hair B There, we do want that switch taped down.

Sal :-C, the Toddfather, and Spilly all hit homers. The Rockies won. Good times were had by all.

March 24: COL 8 @ CHC 9. 10-13.
A loss to the Cubs. Gross. Greg Smith allowed four runs, three earned, in three innings, leaving his spring ERA at a nicely even 9.00. Alan Embree and Ryan Speier allowed two runs apiece. The Rockies went running-palooza, racking up six stolen bases off the Cubs battery. Dan Ortmeier hit a two-run homer. But we still lost. To the Cubs. So that wasn't that fun.

March 25: COL 11 @ LAA 18. 10-14.
Super Duper Jeff Baker hit two homers.

Spilly hit one. So did Yorvit.

And that was about the highlight.

Jason Marquis:

via i16.photobucket.com

March 26: LAD 8 @ COL 6. 10-15.
JDLR had four good innings, but one really bad one, yakking up five runs and five hits in that one. Josh Fogg further damaged his nonexistent chances by giving up three in two innings, and while the Toddfather went 3-3 with two doubles, two RBIs, and two walks, it couldn't save the Rockies from another loss.

March 27: COL 8 @ SEA 3. 11-15.
Christian Colonel, who has had a crapload of playing time this spring for God only knows what reason, helped out today by driving in five runs -- one on a first-pitch grand slam and the other on a sac fly. The Dreamy Special Boy had a pair of hits, and "Caber" Stewart added a two-run homer. While Cookie was peppered for 10 hits in 5.2 innings, he kept it to three runs. Manny Corpas pitched another scoreless inning, leaving his spring ERA at a very nice 1.13.

March 28: CHC 6 @ COL 10. 12-15.
Beating the Cubs is far more enjoyable than what otherwise happens, i.e. when they beat us. This was affected by a six-run eighth inning, in which the Dreamy Special Boy hit a go-ahead three-run homer and Spilly hit a two-run triple, continuing his terrific spring. Meanwhile, Garrett Atkins hit a solo shot in his first at-bat back from injury, and the Toddfather continued to look flashy with a 2-for-3 performance. But the offense was needed, because U-ball had the "bad" switch taped down, giving up six hits, five runs, and a depressing SIX walks in four innings. Yo U-ball. The rotation has enough question marks as it is, no need to transform back into Nuke LaLoosh. Just FYI. Also, while Huston Street checked in with a perfect inning, striking out one, his spring ERA remains quite a bit higher than Corpas's, at 5.79. But hey. It's nice to win.

March 29: COL 6 @ OAK 7. 12-16.
In the second of our spring meetings with the team that now has that guy that used to play for us, we lost, which wasn't as fun as winning 14-7. Greg Smith, struggling with a dead arm, allowed five runs in 1.2 innings. Something was clearly wrong, as he wasn't breaking 78 mph, which does not inspire much confidence. Franklin Morales stepped admirably up for five innings, twirling scoreless ball, but he blinked long enough to allow a walk-off homer to Chris Denorfia. Despite falling into an early 5-1 hole, the Rockies climbed back to a tie thanks to two RBIs apiece from Atkins and Stewart, one from Dex, and one from Brad, and were ahead 6-5 until Frankie had his hiccup.

What's to Worry? The starting rotation. That is really worrying. U-ball and JDLR can't be consistent, the Marquis de Sade had better cut out whatever the crap he's doing, and we still have no fifth starter. This needs to change pronto. Spring training's almost over.

And Tulo? Start hitting, boy.

What's to Like? Spilly, the Toddfather, and Manny Corpas have all come up with recent strong performances, and hopefully both Spilly and the Toddfather have found the right adjustments to stick with it. Spilly's benefited from Don Baylor, Todd from having his back fixed. Garrett Atkins is also still hitting .478, Brad Hawpe .438. Dexter Fowler is making a serious bid for the team and would add a legit speed element. The offense is looking pretty good.

What's on Tap? Spring training is ALMOST over., thank Gawd. Tomorrow, we have another tuneup against the Dbacks, then a game with the Pale Hose, then round out the exhibition slate with games against the Royals (ugh) the Dbacks (one last meeting before April 6 at Chase Field) then back-to-back games against the Mariners on Friday and Saturday. Sunday the fifth of April is off, and then THE SEASON STARTS. YAHOOOOO!!!

PROGRAMMING NOTE: I will not be around to chronicle the first two weeks of the season, since I will be on vacation to various remote and beautiful bits of the world without Internet connections. Until then, Rockies Review is in the hands of Russ, so get ready for obscure military history jokes and Star Wars references. When I do get back, I have a few ideas for monkeying around with, but don't have the time tonight. I apologise for making such scandalously short shrift of a week, and hope that I don't cause any deaths from wisecrack deficiency. There's probably a vitamin for that somewhere.