Rockies beat Phillies, still anticipating April to be cruel month.

Alright look, I know this whole "winning" thing is great and everything, but according to PECOTA, the Rockies (3-1), after winning ten to three today, only have 68 wins left this season, and can only score 812 more runs. Worse, the pitchers have to somehow allow 937 in the remaining 158 games.

And there are just too many extra base hits here, oy, you guys 20 in four games? Are you nuts? You're not supposed to have that kind of power. Seriously. You need to just cut this nonsense out. I mean you too, Garrett, I thought you were our good one, setting a perfect example of futility until you just had to go and hit a two run bomb today. I'm very disappointed.

This is the hard part of the schedule, remember? If we use up all of our PECOTA runs in April, than what will we do for the rest of the season? I mean you guys realize that in two of these four games you were going up against 2008's runner-up in the Cy Young voting and the World Series MVP, don't you? That's where you're not supposed to score runs, PECOTA doesn't want you to.

And look, pitchers, I know you don't want to do this, but maybe you can give some of those extra runs you're supposed to be giving up away to another team. I just think you guys are digging yourself in a hole here. I mean it was going to be hard enough giving up the most runs by an NL team since 1999 to begin with, allowing just 3.5 a game while playing in the league's two most prolific run environments against two offenses that everybody just hearts to death is just asking for trouble if you want to reach that standard.

Honestly, I just don't know if you guys are cut out for this massive losing deal. I think we may have to start looking around who else to give that role too.

The Big Question: Who do you think will realize that they've greatly underestimated the Rockies first?

the Snakepit?

Today brings the Dodgers to town, for a three-game set against Arizona. This could go a long way to setting the early momentum in the season, between two teams generally predicted to fight for the division title. Neither has quite set the grass aflame with their early results: the Diamondbacks dropped two out of three versus the Rockies, while the Dodgers split a four-game set against the Padres, near-universal picks for cellar dwellers in the NL West. 

Dave Cameron at FanGraphs.com?

Dan O’Dowd is a man with a lot of ideas. Some of them are very good, while others are a bit more questionable. Overall, he’s showed an ability to identify talent, but in trying to solve the Coors Field problems, the approach has been to throw spaghetti at the wall. They tried high priced left-handed pitchers, to disastrous results. They tried strikeout pitchers who would limit balls in play. Now, they’re trying groundball pitchers, assembling a staff of sinkerball starters who will hopefully limit home runs. In the end, though, it doesn’t appear that the organization is committed to a direction, but instead react to whether their experiments work or fail. Baseball in Denver is certainly different than the rest of the game, but the Rockies need to figure out how to use that to their advantage, and they haven’t been able to do so as of yet.

Commenters at the Denver Post?

So at least Ken Rosenthal has upgraded us to "not a doormat" in this video, but respect still needs to be earned. Let's knock some Phillies around some more, let's knock some Cubs around and some Dodgers around, and then a few Snakes again and see what people are saying at the end of the month.

Wrap Rating: Wrapping your head around this whole Rockies as good thing will be tough guys, I suggest using the turbie towel hair wrap just to keep things in place as you're doing so.

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