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Around SBN: Hugh Douglas Admits To Stealing From Jaguars

Spring Training in Tucson: Even with two teams left, it's a small world after all (with pics)

Pima County houses well over 1 million souls, with around half of those living in Tucson city limits and the vast majority living in the Tucson metro area. Even so, and even with only the Rockies and Diamondbacks still training locally, when Spring Training comes around, it's not exactly out of the ordinary to run into pro ballplayers completely randomly. I'll always remember the time I ran into the great Luis Gonzalez in, of all places, Bed Bath and Beyond, (my ex-fiancee had dragged me there) and, without knowing what to do, and having nothing for him to autograph, I simply squirted out, "....hey! You're Luis Gonzalez! Can I shake your hand??" Somewhat embarrassed, he did indeed shake my hand, before pushing his cart on into the domestic bowels of that place. Of course, this is the last year for the foreseeable future (and probably ever) of Spring Training in Tucson, so these encounters should be memorialized. Consider what happened to my sister today.

Star-divide

I was on my way over to her apartment this afternoon. She's going to San Carlos for the weekend with her boyfriend and a coworker, among others, to go SCUBA diving, and I agreed to stay at her place and puppysit. I'm on the way and my mom calls me: "Maggie was in an accident. She's at 22nd (St) and 4th (Ave) in the parking lot of a Quik Mart." So, I head to the intersection in question, and see my sister. She's crying and being consoled by a tall, lanky fella in a white shirt and jeans. After giving her a hug, while she's still somewhat hysterical, I take a look at the cars and ask her what has happened.

 

Apparently, the black BMW in front of her had stopped short, for a reason I've now forgotten, and she stopped her Mazda 3 with due distance to spare. However, three 20 yr old "stupid dumb****s", to quote the TPD police officer who responded to the 911 call, in a 1989 Honda POS (and yes, that IS a registered trademark of Honda) didn't notice the stopped vehicles in front of them and slammed into Maggie's Mazda at 40MPH. She was pushed into the beemer, and all three cars went to the parking lot of the Quik Mart to sort things out and wait for the cops. The driver of the beemer is angry as all hell, because he apparently just got his BMW repaired recently and it was out of commission for a month. To his credit, his ire is directed at the Honda guys, rather than my sister, and they both repeatedly told my hysterical sibling that "it's not your fault".

 

So anyway, I arrive and I start talking to the BMW guys, and they mention something about "the season" starting, and how they'll be all over the place when that happens. My interest piqued, I ask them what "season" they're talking about. Lo and behold, it turns out that they're baseball players -- both of them were outfielders for the Asheville Tourists this past year (and both of whom are expecting to play for Modesto this season). The driver of the BMW was Dave Christensen, and the lanky passenger who was consoling Maggie was Tyler Massey. (Or so he introduced himself to me. The official documents say Joseph, his legal first name) Of course, I had to immediately txt ATF and mkorpal to find out who these dudes were, and Andrew filled me in. (He happened to be spying on Ian Stewart at Fleming's Steakhouse at the time.) I mentioned to them that I was an author and editor for the Snakepit, but that I had several good friends at Purple Row. Neither of them are members, but they're both familiar with the site.

 

Anyway, to wrap up the story, the guy driving the Honda had just bought his car today, and was uninsured, so that's gonna suck -- both for my sister and for him, as he got two tickets. Everyone was okay, outside of minor soreness; the Honda was totaled, Maggie's Mazda has damage at both ends, and Dave Christensen's BMW's trunk won't shut. When the attending police officer had finished his report, I wished Christensen and Massey a good season, told them I'd see them next year in Scottsdale, and we all went our separate ways.

 

Baseball stars: They're just like us.

 

Here is, from left to right, Maggie, Christensen, and Massey:

 

 

Here's TPD, layin' down the law on the Honda dumb****s:

 

 

 

And here's Christensen's beemer:

 

 

Eat. Drink. Be Merry. But the above FanPost does not necessarily reflect the attitudes, opinions, or views of Purple Row's staff (unless, of course, it's written by the staff [and even then, it still might not]).

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Oh yeah.

Bonus picture. I’m not sure whether to call this, from left to right, “Short, Shorter, Shortest”, or from right to left, “Tall, Taller, Tallest”, but either way, from left to right is Andrew T. Fisher, mkorpal, and me, last night at Mulligan’s on St. Paddy’s Day.

I keep trying to reset my password to "penis", but it keeps telling me "too short".

by DbacksSkins on Mar 19, 2010 4:05 AM MDT reply actions  

More St. Patrick's Day pics on FB,

including what mkorpal does while drunk

I keep trying to reset my password to "penis", but it keeps telling me "too short".

by DbacksSkins on Mar 19, 2010 2:58 PM MDT up reply actions  

hey I remember mocking this picture

Purple Row: Take this personally
http://www.youtube.com/user/rockiesmagicnumber
Learn about Batting Metrics
Learn about Pitching Metrics

by Andrew Martin on Mar 24, 2010 11:27 AM MDT up reply actions  

The honda looks like it just bent the hood?

And is that you sisters car in the first pic? it doesn’t look bad at all?

by mkorpal on Mar 19, 2010 10:09 AM MDT reply actions  

The Honda

was totaled. It looks a lot better after they put the hood back down, but he was leaking coolant and a few other fluids. He also destroyed his headlights and his front bumper.

And yeah, that’s Maggie’s Mazda. She may not need to replace the front bumper cover, (probably does) but the rear is absolutely ****ed up — rear bumper needs to be replaced, and both quarter panels collapsed slightly..

I keep trying to reset my password to "penis", but it keeps telling me "too short".

by DbacksSkins on Mar 19, 2010 10:46 AM MDT up reply actions  

I checked under the car, too.

Both crash foams will need to be replaced.

I keep trying to reset my password to "penis", but it keeps telling me "too short".

by DbacksSkins on Mar 19, 2010 12:45 PM MDT up reply actions  

Spam = FAIL

I keep trying to reset my password to "penis", but it keeps telling me "too short".

by DbacksSkins on Mar 19, 2010 6:03 PM MDT reply actions   1 recs

Cool story

glad these guys were classy to your sis. It seems to be the Rockie way. When I was in Pompano Beach I could be seen driving around in my hot 1988 Chevy Cavalier convertible!!!!!! I was mistaken for a teen malcontent.

by PinchHitLancePainter on Mar 23, 2010 6:21 PM MDT reply actions  

I feel bad

for ragging on Christensen now, knowing that he’s familiar with the site.

"Shall it be peace, or a sword?" - Excised line from Lincoln's First Inaugural Address

Purple Row - Covering all your Rockies needs!
Diplomatic and Military History Book Review - My other blog where I go all historical on you.

by Russ Oates on Mar 24, 2010 12:05 PM MDT reply actions  

Yeah!

Yo face….

I keep trying to reset my password to "penis", but it keeps telling me "too short".

by DbacksSkins on Mar 25, 2010 10:50 AM MDT up reply actions  

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