SAN FRANCISCO, CA - MAY 14: Manager Jim Tracy #4 of the Colorado Rockies looks on from the dugout in the fifth inning against the San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park on May 14, 2012 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)
A game show.
Christian Friedrich is on the stage with Jim Tracy.
There are three sets of Dutch doors, no lights.
Jim: Welcome to "Choose Your Colorado Rockies Misadventure," the game that is sure to disappoint you! Tonight we have Christian Friedrich. How's everything?
Christian: Great. I avoided the misadventure my first time on the show, so I'm feeling good about my second one.
Jim: All right. Let's go over the rules again. You have three sets of doors to choose from. On the left is the team's pitching performance. In the middle is the wild card event of the game. On the end is the offensive effort by your teammates and the final score of the game. Ready to begin?
Christian: Sure am, coach. I'll go with the top door for the pitching performance.The top door opens.
Jim: You've hit it big time tonight. Seven innings of one-run ball and 10 strikeouts. However, the bullpen gives up two runs late in the game.
Christian: Sweet, I guess. Depends on the offense, really. OK, I'll go with the bottom door for the wild card event.
The bottom door reveals itself. A look of horror comes to both their faces.
Jim: Well, that's why they call it the wild card event. Troy Tulowitzki gets hit by a foul ball while in the dugout. But at least he legged out a single before leaving the game.
Christian: Ugh, at least this is a make-believe show and I didn't actually cause that.
Jim: And now for the offensive output.
Christian thinks hard about this one.
Christian: I'll go back up top for this one.
The door opens.
Jim: And that's two runs scored for a 3-2 loss to the San Francisco Giants. Do you want to see the bottom choice for the offensive performance?
Jim: Two runs scored for a 3-2 loss to the San Francisco Giants. Ouch.
Christian: Ouch, indeed.
Jim puts an arm around Christian to comfort him.
Jim: Come back tomorrow night, everyone. Jeremy Guthrie gets his turn at this after a few weeks on the DL.