FanPost

The Cause of Our Hitting Woes


Well, there has been quite a bit of negativity going on here lately. By both the haters and the haters of haters. And after attending the stinkfest put up by the Rockies offense last night, it's understandable to me why so many are frustrated. But rather than add to the vitriol, I decided that I would put forth the solution to our pain. Well, maybe not the solution, but I can at least point out the problem. Well, I may not be able to do that either, but I can provide some of you some mild amusement.

Go ahead and watch this video, starting at about the 1:18:30 mark til at least 1:25:30, and then join me after the jump.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50s61SbaY3o&feature=related

So I was recently watching one of my favorite childhood movies the other day and came across this scene. And I was shocked by what I saw. I'm sure that some of you caught what I did as well. I nearly spit out my popcorn and chocolatey drink when I saw that the hated slugger known as none other than Kit "Hit or Die" Kesey was played by the one and only Carney Lansford! Although Carney has lost some weight and must have had some reconstructive work done to remove that gruesome scar. I was immediately struck with great joy at my find. Although, my joy was short-lived as I began to think about the fate of Hit or Die Kesey and the struggles of my beloved Rockies' offense. Besides a few 15+ runs scoring binges, the Rockies have failed to produce runs at a consistent rate. With so much talent in the middle of the lineup, I have been perplexed as to why we seem to struggle so much at times. And that's when my revelation struck me. How can we hit consistently with Kit Kesey as our hitting coach? No wonder we struggle in clutch situations when the man who is instructing us is a guy who could do no better than hit a weak line drive right back at the pitcher with 2 outs in the 9th! Against 65mph meatballs thrown by Tony Danza no less! And after said Danza had already thrown almost 160 pitches! No wonder Tulo is prone to pop out in clutch situations! It obviously has nothing to do with our players just performing inconsistently, and has everything to do with our Fumanchu'd coach!

So I have therefore decided to start a new movement. The "Fire Jim Tracy" bandwagon will need to be put on the backburner. Everyone join me on a new bandwagon! Hit or Die? More like "Hit or do what you normally do and pop out to the second baseman." Say it with me: FIRE KIT KESEY!

Hopefully, my sarcasm was clear enough. :)

Eat. Drink. Be Merry. But the above FanPost does not necessarily reflect the attitudes, opinions, or views of Purple Row's staff (unless, of course, it's written by the staff [and even then, it still might not]).

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