"Hello, prospect pitcher support line"
"Hi, yeah, we're having some trouble with some of our young pitching"
"What kind of trouble?"
"Well, they stayed up WAY past their bedtime playing Playstation and so they have to be back in the dugout by 75 pitches."
"Sounds pretty normal for pitchers that age."
"Is it normal that they don't make it past the 3rd inning?"
"Oh.... oh. No, that's no good at all. Have you tried sending them down and calling them back up again?"
"Yeah. Twice, in fact."
"Where'd you get them?"
"Cleveland. Well, Anaheim as well."
"They should be alright. All that thick air and stuff-"
"Well, we installed them in Colorado."
"Oh God, you didn't. What have you tried to do?"
"Well, we keep screwing with one of their arm slots, we can't decide if another one is a starter or a reliever, and the 3rd should probably be in AA still, but everyone else is broken."
"Wow, yeah. The Anaheim Chatwood and Cleveland Pomeranz models shouldn't be used at altitude, at least not until they've had 150 innings or more at AA, and probably another 100 for seasoning at AAA"
"Well, that's a luxury we don't have right now."
"Right. Well, whatever you do, don't try pairing them with any sort of inexperienced catcher who still needs to work on his framing and blocking skills."
"BO GET OFF THE PHONE I NEED TO CALL DOMINOS WILIN IS HUNGRY AND WON'T TAKE BP UNTIL HE GETS HIS TRIPLE OLIVE SAUSAGE PINEAPPLE AND RED PEPPER PIZZA"
Despite all of the silliness, Drew Pomeranz wasn't bad tonight. 3 shutout innings is far from "good", along with 6 baserunners in those 3 innings, but he got some help from the defense, and was able to battle well enough to leave in a scoreless tie. Carlos Torres also wasn't fantastic, but he also worked his way through some traffic with 3 punchouts in 3 innings of work.
Meanwhile in the 7th and 8th innings, Rex Brothers brought the stank nasty and mowed down 4 Atlanta batters via the strikeout and only allowed 1 man on base - via the walk, shocker. He looked gooooooooood tonight, that kind of awesome we love to see out of Sexy Rexy.
Winning kicks the crap out of losing.