Indians 5, Rockies 2: This road trip isn't even real

Rich Schultz

So, what, is Walt Weiss suddenly going to get ejected from a game or something? OH.

I'm thoroughly convinced that this road trip -- particularly, the Wednesday and Friday portion -- is a figment of my imagination.

Let me explain some dreams I've had lately. In the first one -- I think it was on Tuesday -- I was sitting on a toilet in the middle of the right field stands at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia (and oddly, nobody in the crowd around me though that was abnormal in any way) when all of the sudden Ben Revere hit a home run. How weird is that, right? You guys probably think I'm crazy.

But there's more. The next night, I was back in high school and showed up to classes in nothing but my underwear. Again, nobody around me thought that was strange, but I felt sort of uncomfortable. Anyway, while subconsciously trying to determine if what was going on was real or a dream, my attention was diverted to a television that was made out of the door of a 1984 Ford Mustang, and on it I saw DJ LeMahieu -- DJ LEMAHIEU (is that even a real name?) -- hit a home run. What even is this? Later in that same dream sequence, Walt Weiss pulled his closer in favor of a LOOGY. I don't remember what happened after that because my alarm went off, but ... yeah. So weird.

That's still not all. I fell asleep on the couch earlier tonight after I got home from grocery shopping, and I had yet another hallucinatory experience while in a slumber. I was flying -- not in an airplance, mind you -- over Cleveland, of all places (side note: that place sucks just as bad in my dreams as it does in real life), and happened to get a close-up of some ballpark called Progressive Field. That's how I know it was a dream, because isn't where the Indians play named Jacobs Field? Anyway, the Rockies were playing there, and I could have sworn I saw Walt Weiss get ejected from the game. The Rockies lost, 5-2, but that obviously wasn't the weird part. I mean, Walt Weiss got EJECTED. Crazy.

These dreams are just getting stupid. Does anyone know how I can get them to calm down a little bit so I can sleep better? Oh, sorry for dirtying up your sports blog with shinfo, by the way.

****


Source: FanGraphs

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