Salutations and adulations, Rowbotlets of Purplerowland. Boy, it's been a long time since we've seen each other, huh? Due to a multiplicity of factors, not least my insane work schedule for my last few months in Asheville and an internet connection that only worked if a butterfly was flapping its wings (or not) in Beijing, my meaningful participation around here has been essentially zero. I can't promise that it's going to tick back up again for good, but I am now back in Denver permanently, have a little off time and (ZOMGZ) a functional connection, so this seemed as good a time as any to compose my first Review Rewind since April.

It won't be a terribly long edition, but it will cover the salient developments of this week. Aka, the good, the bad, and the boom. If you want to check out what those are, agree with my conclusions, and/or object to my classifications, then JUMP!

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It's a funny game, this baseball. Last week, you're feeling on top of the world, everything is going awfully well, and birds sing sweet sonatas from treetops and what have you. This week, you feel distinctly annoyed after the Rockies dropped their second straight series, nearly got no-hit twice in the course of it, then had the normally stellar bullpen give up a game-deciding homer immediately after the guys scratched and clawed back to tie it in the eighth. This in itself being an accomplishment, as Josh "The Beast" Johnson and our own Ubaldo had dueling no-hitters going through the first half of the game, but Ubaldo then decided to walk the bases loaded in the bottom of the fifth, come within a rabbit's whisker of getting out of it, then give up a two-out, three-run triple to Omar "All Star" Infante.

Blargh.

Nonetheless, despite a 2-4 week, there are indications that the sunshine, jelly beans, and Reese's chocolate eggs may not have run out entirely. Grab a fistful of Marshmallow Peeps and join me after the jump.

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In an action only slightly less daring than going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, I am hoping that my internet will play nice long enough to throw this (somewhat short, but who cares) Rockies Review Rewind onto the Interwebs. There's plenty to chew through, and plenty to praise, most of which we've done already, but hey. It's always nice to bask in victory (last night notably excepted). And Tulo, who is, well, a monster.

Because that's just the way things are going these days, and the team hasn't even played their best ball yet -- CarGo is just heating up now, the team batting average coming into today's game was only .259, and of course Ubaldo hasn't had a healthy start. But this has been, ridiculously, good enough to catapult the guys into firm possession of baseball's best record at 12-3. (Worst record? The Red Sox. Aha. AHA. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA).

Ahem. If you want to keep on enjoying the newfound PURPLE POWER, then JUMP.

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Man, that Greg Reynolds. Can we start with him? He's just so dreamy. If it's not the 89-mph fastball or the caveman hair, it's the skinny legs and high socks -- or oh yeah, the 2 runs in 6 innings in his first major league start since 2008. Although it'll only be (hopefully) one more start until Ubaldo returns, I know all of us here at the Greg Reynolds Fan Club will be very sad to see him go. But we can always

/looks up

/realizes auditorium is empty

/tumbleweed rolls by

GOSH YOU GUYSSSSSSS

Sigh. If I am to be prevented from expounding at length on the virtues of the Little Seventh-Choice Spot Starter That Could, I guess I can get around to reviewing the good, the bad, and the ugly from the first full week of Rockies baseball. Take a flying leap.

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Greetings and salutations, fair denizens of Rockies Nation. (Lookit me, changing it up here.) Welcome to the first edition of Rockies Rewind (with Silver!), which means that I am now a name brand. Woot woot. In his introductory primer for new fans, Andrew Martin has given you to expect:

After a long week of Rockies baseball, Silverblood graces us all with a curmudgeonly bard's tale of the week we just witnessed. Expect overreactions, gut instincts, and typically something to laugh at, or at least make you nod your head and say "yeah...YEAH!"

Well um

let me see here

/clears throat

/recites Shakespearean sonnet

/shouts, "YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN"

/AARON COOK IS GUNNA BE HURT THE WHOLE SEASON AND UBALL DIDN'T HAVE A 0.00 ERA IN SPRING TRAINING, WE ARE PATENTLY TEH DOOMED

/Carlos Gonzalez is totally gonna win the MVP this year

/ lame knock-knock joke

ROCKIES ARE THE BEST, OFF TO HECK WITH ALL THE REST

YEAH

YEAH

/takes breath

If you feel as if this has fit the bill, join me after the jump for a quick recap of Spring Training, and a look ahead to the glorious Elysian fields of the Regular Season (tm) that await us. In only five days. Booya.

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Good eveni

Good evening Ro

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Good evening Rowbots! It's pretty clear that I haven't done this for a while, isn't it? Far more brilliant and incisive observers than myself have already provided you with heaps and heaps of analysis about the completed 2010 season (I am told something called the Giants won the World Series. Nope, nope, not happening) and the upcoming 2011 season, so I am unsure if my humble pastiche will serve any purpose apart from to summarize and amuse. But by popular request, I'm back, and assuming a) my home Internet connection cooperates, and b) I have any extra brain cells, I will do my best to furnish the hoi polloi with my customary column capping up all the comings and goings in Rockiesland. I'm not going to promise it every week (if all goes according to plan, I will be working two jobs and going to grad school full time, which is not very conducive to maintaining my established standard of scintillating commentary) but I am determined to make an effort.

The only minor thing is that said column will no longer, per request of the new management, be called Rockies Review. Apparently there is some association with another blog we wish to avoid, so I'll officially open the floor to suggestions as to what it should be retitled. Rockies Revue? Rockies Report? Kinda boring. Super Special Sunday Silver-Rama! Yeahhhhh! *

Join me below for my, um, special take on this upcoming season.

-*- I think someone should talk me out of this one.

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Good evening, Rowbots. It's a dreary one where I am, not only due to the results of today but also because it's raining. (As a consequence of the former more than the latter, I am somewhat out of temper.) To say that that series, apart from last night, could have gone better is an understatement, but the Rockies already handicapped themselves coming into it by letting themselves get swept by the lowly Diamondbacks. That's the kind of thing that a serious contender just can't do in the season's closing weeks, and the guys shot themselves in the foot entirely on their own accord. While the streakiness was fun, it's going to take something more than last-gasp Rocktember magic to transform a team that was unpredictable all year into a playoff entrant. And to be perfectly honest, if you can't win on the road all year long, you don't really deserve it.

Recently, some of our opponents have been kind enough to suggest that the "something more" we have been employing is to resort to monkey business with the humidor. It's become a big enough issue that MLB has ordered the umpires to monitor it. Indeed, the Rockies couldn't possibly have actually won games on their own accord and pulled off late-inning rallies without a little black-market fixing.

I think it's time that this was addressed. If you feel likewise, join me after the jump.

Fair warning: I am very, very angry.

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Good evening, Rowbots. It has come to my attention that a little thing called a Thongbino walkoff homer took place today, giving a team of irredeemable CHEATERZ their tenth win in a row. While this all may be voided once BUD comes along to drop the banhammer on us, in the meantime there's still plenty to celebrate. With the down-on-their-luck Padres limping into town after coughing up a timeshare of first place to the Gints, now is the perfect time to live up to our name as the Colorado Zombies and promptly eat their BRAINZ. (Why didn't we do this to the Giants the last time we played them, you say? Well, for us to eat BRAINZ, there must be BRAINZ. QED.)

I have to say, I have no idea how the team can possibly do this September after September. I don't know if the pixie dust is in a time-lock safe or what. But it's pretty crazy, and absent all the terrible things they do like losing to the Pirates and being groan-worthy in general on the road, they are definitely one of the most unpredictable and exciting teams in baseball. Search me why they can't play like this all year, but whatever it is about the leaves falling, the Rockies go nuts. I can't think of a team that has consistently been this magical down the stretch run, and if it does end with a postseason berth, they will have made it there in three of four years. Not too bad for a bunch of LOSERZ.

As you may or may not have noticed, I have been absent virtually all summer. This is because I have had time to follow the team only on a cursory level -- checking box scores, maybe an inning or two on Gameday -- and because of that, I felt that it was rather counterproductive to offer my low-rent insight when you lot would already have it diagrammed six ways from Sunday (literally). For example, I wasn't even aware that CarGo was a contender for the Triple Crown until just this past Reds series. While my purple passion is undimmed, real life is harshing my buzz in a major way right now, bro.

Nonetheless, as you may also recall from my last Rockies Review (posted on July 4) there have been plenty of awesome things about this summer as well. If you'd like to come back to Asheville with me and look at the tales and travails of a Single-A club, then join me after the jump.

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