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A meeting with Commissioner Bud

"I am very, very disappointed in how the Red Sox handled the situation," Monfort said Sunday. "I will talk with the commissioner, believe me. World Champions? If that's what it takes to be a World Champion, then people are right, we may never be one, because we don't operate and treat other organizations like that."

from the Denver Post

Mr M.: "Bud, can I talk to you?"

Mr. S.: "Sure Charley, always glad to talk with my fellow -er I mean, well you know owners I used to be fellow with, wink-wink."

M.: "Well, no, I don't think I understand what you mean, but really what I'm here to talk to you about is..."

S.: "Say, Charley old-boy, I hate to interrupt, but have you seen this picture yet? It's me last weekend on Larry's yacht, catching a Marlin. Pretty impressive, eh? Lar and I were thinking of sticking a big hook through the head and sending it to Loria with a note attached saying: 'You!'

"Pretty funny, huh? Wouldn't that be a holler? It was Larry's idea, you wouldn't have any big hooks, would you, I've got to do this before I forget..."

M.: "Uhm, no, Bud, actually it's about Larry that I wanted to talk to you. You see..."

S.: "Say, no more, Charley, I think I know where this is going, and you're in luck, I can get you tickets right behind the dugout."

M.: "What?"

S.: "For the World Series in Boston again this year, isn't that what you're after?"

M.: "Er, no, wait, how do you know the Red Sox will even be in the World Series?"

S.: "Oh did I say, that? Of course I don't know, if you get what I mean, just like I didn't know last year, wink-wink,"

M.: "Why do you keep saying that? What do you mean wink-wink? Are you fixing things?"

S.: "Fixing you up with a pair of primo World Series tickets, is what I'm fixing! so what do you say, visitors or home side?"

M.: "Isn't George going to get suspicious?"

S.: "What, Steinbrenner? Please, Georgie Porgie's my lapdog now! Who's your Pappi, Georgie, who's your Pappi? Bud's your Pappi. Ha!
See, Charley, I got me some new friends ...Well, wait a second, I guess I should check with Larry to see if he says it's alright I call him that. I'll call really fast, it won't take a minute... Hi Debbie? Debbie it's Bud, is Larry in? Can I talk to him? Bud Selig, the commissioner.., S-E-L-I-G... uhm, okay, yes I'll hold, he'll answer this time, right?"

Now while I'm waiting, did you say home? Or visitors?"

M.: "Uh, you better make that home, behind the owner's box, if it's possible, with a clear sight line and plenty of room to demonstrate pitching techniques to my boy..."

S.: "Sure, Charley, and was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?"

M.: "Nope, that would be it, thanks Bud, thanks a lot..,"

S.: "Not a problem... uhp, Debbie? Yes, I'm still here.., sure I'll hold some more, no rush..."