Oh Reference Boy, while I'm here in Montreal, get me a pair of Expos tickets for tonight. Oh? Really? You mean they actually just moved the entire franchise and there aren't like a couple of lesser Alou cousins playing up here or something? Oh that's too bad. Alright, Habs it is then.
Anyway, are we going to be subjected to bad Josh Fogg puns by headline writers every time he pitches this season? I mean, really, let's look: Trip Starts in a bad Fogg, Strike Zone Lost in a Fogg, from Phillie, Phils out of the Fogg with New Lineup. Yeah, that's not going to get old at all through thirty starts...
Miguel Ascensio gets his starting debut tonight. We'll put up a game thread later, but it might not be as bad as we imagine. Well, not as bad as I imagine, anyway. Probably because I imagine Bobby Abreu getting like five hundred at bats in a Sportscenter montage of balls being deposited over the fence as the anchor just sits there and starts counting, but only he doesn't stop when you think he will, in fact he just doesn't stop, and then the Phillie Phanaticis dancing around and twirling this strange hypnotic umbrella and he says "sananab ym koot ohw!" Which is who took my bananas backwards and then even though we aren't playing the Reds, Marge Schott comes back from the dead with her little undead schnauzer Schottsie which bites my ankle all the while this sportscenter guy is just counting Abreu homeruns off Ascencio and Dan O' Dowd is crying like a little girl in left field and saying his pony is broken. Yeah, travel does some weird things to my mind I think.
Reference Boy, get me the number of a good French Canadian shrink.