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Mae West and Rox Girl preview the NLCS; Part One

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Game 1: Starters

Brandon Webb-
Mae: Love thy neighbor--and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
Rox Girl: Gee, thanks for the advice, but I could do without the devastation. I'd prefer him to be tall debonair, and as hittable as he was before that last game we played him.

Jeff Francis-
Mae: You may admire a pitcher's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.
Rox Girl: Yeah, and the third, fourth and fifth, too apparently. I wonder if the Diamondbacks will ever figure them out.

Game 2 Starters:

Doug Davis-
Mae: Cultivate your curves--they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
Rox Girl: Not by our bats at least. Double D should take those words to heart. His .318 BABIP shows that anything he leaves in the zone could be big trouble for the Diamondbacks. I like our chances in the two games against him.

Ubaldo Jimenez-
Rox Girl: I'll go first on this one, since Mae might be a little unfamiliar with U-ball. You've heard of a "backdoor slider"? Ubaldo's is more of the "sneak through your window and snoop around your underwear drawer slider."
Mae: It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.
Rox Girl: Yeah, well if you think that's kinky, just wait until you see his curveball. Oh, and did I mention how fast he throws?
Mae: He who hesitates is last.
Rox Girl: Too true.

Game 3 Starters:

Livan Hernandez-
Rox Girl: Livan's got so many pitches in his repertoire, he'll keep the Rockies guessing all night at what's coming.
Mae: Don't keep a man guessing too long--he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.
Rox Girl: Yeah, eventually you have to figure Livan can be beaten. It's just a mind-numbing process and sickening when it doesn't happen. I actually kind of empathize with Cubs fans, because losses to Hernandez are usually the toughest kind to take. Lots of base runners, lots of chances, little return. It's amazing his endurance, too, given how out of shape he looks.
Mae: I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Josh Fogg-
Mae: Some men are all right in their place--if they only knew the right places!
Rox Girl: Yeah, when Foggy's got his location, he can be just as frustrating for the opposition as Livan is for us. Lately -outside the Padres game- he's been that good though, let's hope it continues against Arizona.

Game 4 Starters:

Micah Owings-
Mae: Men are all alike--except the one you've met who's different.
Rox Girl: Yep, this would be the one, who's a legitimate two way threat with his bat or his arm. Pick your poison, there.
Mae: Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Rox Girl: I don't know how well that would work here, Mae.

Franklin Morales-
Mae: I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Rox Girl: And that's the question really, why can't batters resist the temptation to swing at Franklin Morales' pitches. You have to figure that eventually he'll start missing regularly and get in trouble and it's better to wait for that than swing early and often into grounders to second or silly looking K's. I just don't know if Arizona is a disciplined enough team to resist.
Mae: A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
Rox Girl: Exactly, but I just don't know if Arizona's that dame.


Mae: Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Rox Girl: This? Oh, it's a gun. I was just measuring the velocity on Manny Corpas' fastball. It sure looks faster than 94. Jose Valverde's too. The Rockies and Diamondbacks are in trouble if they only get to see the good parts of each other's bullpens.
Mae: If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot.
Rox Girl: Yeah, but remember what happened to LaTroy Hawkins on day one? The problem is that the foot will fall really deep into it if some of the lesser parts of these pens get exposed.
Mae: You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
Rox Girl: I hear you sister, as do long starts.

I'll put up Mae's and my scouting report for the position players in a while.