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We will wear you down, Red Sox Nation...

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Do you think you have what it takes to endure hours of this?

To improve your ticket-buying experience and to make it as pleasant as possible, this site permits entry to a limited number of patrons at a time.

This page will refresh when the countdown timer below reaches zero. When this happens, the system will automatically try to access the site again.

We will flash this message to you over and over until your corneas bleed out and your tear ducts run dry because we know deep inside you are weak and insecure. Subconsciously, you feel that you don't deserve our pleasant ticket buying experience and it makes you feel uncomfortable that we would offer it to you. It's because we know you have issues after years of being berated and put down by Yankees fans as well as people who actually can think for themselves.

Deep inside, you know the reason why the system has failed to produce tickets over and over again. It's you. You're why Medicare is broken too, and why we failed in the Bay of Pigs. It's why your parents divorced and why your relationship stinks. Just know this. We only do this out of love. Soon you will realize the truth, that only by losing to the Rockies, and feeling okay about yourselves in doing so, can you be set free of the burden of shame and guilt you so rightly carry. So stare at that countdown clock, it's only forty-five seconds until the system proves once again how much a disaster you are for it. Only when you get off the grid will you be able to see the light. It's for the best Red Sox Nation. Shut down your computers and go weep now. Let it out. We'll be here for you when you get back. Save your place in line and all that...