So. Taylor Buchholz gets the Mets for his first starting gig of the season. Impressive. Alright, if he's somehow able to turn around the string of L's we put up whenever we visit this stadium, does that automantically entitle him to a bonus of some sort? Like maybe a pen or something? I always wanted a quality pen; one where a salesperson is required. He would tell you to hold it and feel the balance and the weight, and give you a stick-it note to test it out on, and say "Do you feel that? Now look how the ink doesn't smudge. Miss, this is a quality pen you're holding."
Yep. It's pretty clear I have an insanely boring fantasy life. And now I'm kind of embarrassed for bringing it up, I've decided. So maybe instead of a pen, if Taylor wins this game, he should get a bullwhip. One that requires a salesperson.
Miss, this is a quality whip you're holding...
Let's go Rockies!
[editor's note, by Russ] And check out Amazin' Avenue, where I alerted Mets fans to look out for me on Tuesday and Wednesday.