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Monday Morning RxPile:

Purple Row: A Colorado Crush Blog

Alright, I'll admit I've got pent up issues stemming from yesterday to deal with here. I'm going to try to keep them buried for as long as I can, but I can't promise that this post won't veer off into NSFW or children language. I'll just make sure if that happens that I keep it in the comments or read more section so you have some way of not engaging. Seriously, yesterday's loss caused me some real angst. I'm talking PTSD angst. Okay, what was that, exactly? Anyway, I've got some bloggerly duties to attend to:

What has been politely suggested that the Rockies need to do to fix the team:

  1. That thing we don't talk about regarding the manager.
  2. XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXX O'XXXX XXXXXX on his XXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXX. (portions blacked out under Congressional seal for 25 years)
  3. Trade Byung Hyun Kim for Jorge Julio. While we're at it, we should also trade John Mabry for Willie Bloomquist and Steve Finley for Brad Eldred. There. Didn't that instantly make us a better team?
  4. Move to Portland.
  5. Sell to Kroenke.
  6. Trade Todd Helton to contender X for a scrap of dignity.
  7. Send Chris Iannetta back to the minors for walking too much and Omar Quintanilla back for how he played last year.
  8. Blow up the bullpen.
  9. Invent a time machine
  10. Sign Roger Clemens or another of the Grade A free agent pitchers last year. Like Jason Schmidt.
  11. Oh, while we have the time machine, I liked this one I saw today: Go back and get our "ace" Jason Jennings back and give back Willy Taveras, Jason Hirsh and Taylor Buchholz. You are a super smart guy, Woody Paige.
Am I missing any?

What will really make this team better:

  1. Okay, so he's right about lopping off Mabry and/or Finley. Too bad none of us saw that train wreck coming... Barker and Spilborghs should be welcome. Joe Koshansky's not ready.
  2. Replace Josh Fogg in the rotation with Greg Reynolds. The team's afraid of pushing it's youngsters, but Reynolds' Pac-10 draft mates Morrow and Lincecum are already in the majors and doing alright, Reynolds was as polished as either of those coming out of college last year.
  3. Keep Buchholz on a short leash.
  4. Jamey Carroll needs to only be used against left handers, and even then judiciously until he can break out of his slump. Otherwise use Q.