Get it, it's like The Reckoning or something? yeah I know it's terrible. Turrible if you will.
It may have been a better idea to go with like "The Metsening", because when Omar Minaya arrived, it was like a fanfare, all the agents rejoiced, saying "Oh, the benevolent king of absurd contracts and an undying affinity for latin players has come to line our pockets with gold and fine oils!"
When suddenly the crowd parted and Scott Boras seemed to glide forward with hands outstretched, saying "I bring to thee Matt Holliday; for thou lackest a powerful bat from the right who canst playeth thine Outer Fields" to which Joe Urbon popped up saying "Hey! My client [Jason Bay] has more years displaying consistent offensive prowess in more run-neutral environments!"
Boras replied "Ah, but thou forgettest Holliday's most excellent postseason experiences, he hath carried the Rockies AND the Cardinals to October. Also, thou forgettest 2007, where Jason Bay hath batted .247 and hath only batted above .300 in his career onthe. Clearly, my client beith the supreme LF available, as he hath a career .318 batting average."
"Listen, Boras, your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped sway savvy GMs that Holliday is better than Bay. Bay's posted similar OPS in worse hitters parks and he-"
"Come, Omar, we have much to discuss" as Boras wraps his arm around Omar Minaya's shoulder and slowly walks away while $100 bills litter the ground from Minaya's torn pockets.
Seriously, when Minaya arrived, Heyman cited that he was looking for a power hitter, a starter, and a catcher. Heyman immediately suggested Holliday, Wolf, and Molina. Marquis could also be an option.
On the other side of town, it's sounding like the Yankees actually want to keep all their guys like Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui. I have trouble thinking they're not in the running for Holliday or Bay, though. I'm not terribly impressed with Austin Jackson, and it's not as if Matsui and Damon are going to magically get younger and/or healthier.
In other news, Texas is interested in reacquiring Milton Bradley, and he had some pretty solid success with them there in 2008. Heyman is saying he has to go SOMEWHERE, as the rumor is that many Cubs stars won't even talk to him. ARE YOU NOTICING THE COMMON THEME, MILTON? Whatever happens there, the Cubs don't have much leverage.
Rosenthal and Morosi are telling me (just got off the phone with them) that the Mariners are expected to kick the tires on Bay, at the least. Also there's a lot of demand for Billy Wagner, apparently. Who knew?
There are stirrings that the Phillies are pursuing Mark DeRosa to replace Pedro Feliz. So where is Feliz supposed to land? Does anybody care? Maybe the Giants will look at him again if they miss on Adrian Beltre, so they can move Pablo Sandoval over to 1B.
After last season, I don't see how the Giants aren't players for some combination of Bay, Holliday, Beltre, etc etc.
I'll keep them coming as long as I'm getting them till about noonish, and then I hope some of the other folks warming themselves around the Hot Stove can pitch in a bit as well!