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Monday Rockpile: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says, "Don't Panic! and always have a Towel."

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy may offer some sage advice for the Rockies?

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy may offer some sage advice for the Rockies? via

As we've seen over the last few things, either we shouldn't worry yet about the Rockies or the sky has fallen and all is lost. But really that's a false dilemma. The answers is in between the two. Still if everyone has a towel, everything should be right. Remember, "a towel is about the most massively useful thing [you] can have" (p. 26, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). Of course, my bracketed "you" really replaces "interstellar hitchhiker," which none of us is, nor any of the Rockies. And if I start to see the Rockies step to the plate with towels as their bats, well, something is really wrong. But I can't wait for the day when we can say, "Hey, you sass that [insert Rockie player]? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is" (p. 27).

But if having a towel won't work, the Rockies could recite some Vogon poetry. Don't you want to hear Aaon Cook say, "Oh freddled gruntbuggly . . . thy micturations are to me- As plurdled gabblelotchits on a lurgid bee" (p. 65)? That'll guarantee the Rockies will win games--as long as the Rockies wear earplugs.

Of course, if you haven't figured it out by now, the real answer as to how the Rockies will get back on track is 42.

Douglas Adams was a comedic genius.

Oh, some links.

Tracy Ringolsby writes that the Rockies are trying to do too much too soon:

They need to slow down. They are in such a hurry to show everybody that they are a good team that they are falling all over themselves, from reliever Huston Street, the new guy in the Rockies clubhouse, to Todd Helton, the dean of the team.

“I think Clint (Hurdle, manager) said it best after (Sunday’s) game, we are speeding everything up, trying to make things happen instead of letting them happen,’’ said Helton.

Patrick Saunders writes that the 2009 Rockies are in a familiar place: the same one the 2008 Rockies were in at this point.

The headline for this John Klima piece at may be a bit misleading, but Clint Hurdle believes Chris Iannetta is on the right track after yesterday's homer.

Clint Hurdle says Ubaldo Jimenez's mechanics are off, and that there are going to be some changes as a result. Also in that link, Matt Belisle is the most likely candidate to leave the 25-man roster when Franklin Morales returns tomorrow. May we never see Matt Belisle in a Rockies uniform again.