clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Rockies Review Goes Artsy-Fartsy (?!)

Since aside from today, there's nothing much worth recounting, I decided to have a little fun instead. Please, throw all the rotten fruit you like -- as long as it isn't anything that will cause lasting damage, like beer bottles.


Rockies Review does not have much to review
Because the boys have not got a clue
Of how to stop all the failing
(And the Purple Row’s wailing)
Their record is quite badly askew.

In this time of great strife
We cannot just get on with life
So while we wait for the wins
And scout out tons more has-beens
Painfully bad limericks must just suffice.

Today not withstanding
Nothing has been going to plan
Who would have thought that Jason Marquis
Would be our best guarantee
Of Cooking up a win on command?

We hope this portends something more
For the team that we all adore
Cannot sort its kettles from asses
Far from pleasing the masses
It makes watching the games quite a chore.

For once we actually did beat L.A.
But that’s not too much to say
For with that guy named Manny
Parked on the bench on his fanny
We damn sure should win today.

The season thus far offers much to forget
Since it’s hard to watch without becoming upset
I suppose we can hope
And figure out strange ways to cope
But basically all that we do is to fret.

It is pitching that will win you ballgames
But this must conflict with our aims
Because what we’re doing ain’t pitchin’
And causes much bitchin’
And a lot of Denver Post flames.

For that matter, some hitting might help out
But the sticks are all in a long drought
The bullpen is leaky
And the brain trust is creaky
Is there still the benefit of the doubt?

Either they score runs in gobs or they score not at all
Their batting averages being quite small
They start hitting like crazy
Or just look quite lazy
Can we please get some consistent baseball?

We hope that this state of affairs shall not last
Before all chances of fixing are past
We’ve started so slowly
That we’ve said things unholy
Now it’s time to take off with a blast.

So remember it can be done
But right now it isn’t much fun
So suffer it somehow
And don’t disavow
Because NL West hey here we come!