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Rockies Review: Babies and bathwater

I'm gonna keep this simple, guys. I'm tired, I'm irritated, that damn homework STILL isn't done, and, as I imagine most of you are, I'm not too keen on writing about, thinking about, or putting up with this team right now. In essence, there are two courses to take: stay it, and hope that things get sorted out in time to make this summer still worth watching, or ditch it and pull a massive salary dump in time to free up some money for the Draft. But in either case, it doesn't bode well for the immediate or even the moderate future. I swear, this team would make Freddy Krueger look well-balanced.

There are good individual players -- the Toddfather and Hawpe come to mind, with Tulo starting to emerge from his slumber -- but that just seems to emphasise the point that they couldn't be playing less like a team. They get one part under control and another goes out of whack. It makes you wonder if anybody knows what the heck can be done to fix it, and gives you good reason to think that they don't. After all, why would you want to shake up the status quo, Dan O'Dowd? Eh?

I'm pretty disheartened right now. Nobody wants to think that their beloved team will be playing meaningless games before Memorial Day. As it is, barring a lightning strike or Tunguska event, this season is already shaping up as a wash, and it certainly will be if moves of whatever sort aren't made. Sitting on one's hands and hoping things work out, while desirable, is impossible. (I should know, I just tried it with the homework). The problem is... does anyone have a CLUE what should be done, and is there anyone in the front office who realises that something does need to happen? We can vent on PR all we like, but we're still just the armchair GMs. The actual GM, barring a kidnap attempt with lists of demands, chains, and ether-soaked rags, is beyond our reach. As yet. But PR's influence is growing.

/malevolent cackle

Let's give Danny some ideas, shall we? Below, in 1000 words or less, + spell out your plan for fixing the Colorado Rockies for 2010 and beyond, and surviving 2009 until we can get there. Humorous and serious efforts equally appreciated.

+ completely meaningless guideline