Saturday Rockpile: Pomeranz and Guthrie Injured, Hairston's Cycle, Rockies' Bat-Flipping - A Timeline of Last Night's Events

What a wild night for Rockies (and Mets) fans, wasn't it? Injuries, cycles, unbelievable performances on the field (both good and bad), unbelievable performances OFF the field (mostly bad)...just another crazy Friday afternoon/evening/night in LoDo. I'll share a timeline of the events. All times are approximate, of course.

Sometime in the early afternoon: "Ching" "Crack" "Derp!" "Guh!" "Oof!" "Bahahahahaha!" Those somewhat-audible noises were heard somewhere near the ballpark, as it appears that some random guy ate shit on his bike, resulting in a few native Denverites pointing and laughing (or at least uncomfortable chortling) at the yet-to-be-identified victim. Everyone carries on with their day.

6:15 PM: Drew Pomeranz is warming up in the bullpen, when he feels some tightness and discomfort in his left forearm. Was he, perhaps, the victim of the bicycle mishap? Who knows at this point, but he didn't feel the need to say anything about the arm issue, and continued on with his warmups as normal.

6:41 PM: Kirk Nieuwenhuis takes an 0-2 pitch from Pomeranz and grounds it into centerfield. Dexter Fowler, perhaps blinded by the sun, misplays the grounder and Nieuwenhuis reaches second base as a result. The Mets score a couple of plays later, as even when guys get picked off, damage is still done as a result of Scott Hairston being at the plate. More on that later.

6:56 PM: After tripling, Marco Scutaro fails to score on a fairly-deep grounder by Jonathan Herrera. At least he didn't run into an out on the contact play, right? Maybe 2011 is over after all. He would go on to score on the next ball in play.

7:02 PM: Troy Tulowitzki hits a mammoth home run to left field. He does not flip his bat or pose while the ball is in the air. Smug status: still smug.

7:03 PM: Todd Helton hits his first triple since 2010. This is setting up to be a wild night.

7:08 PM: Of all people that could possibly be up twice in a row, we get Scott Hairston. He promptly singles.

7:17 PM: Hairston allows himself to be hit by a batted ball while approaching second base, resulting in the third out of the inning. This comment is left in the game thread:

7:50 PM: Hairston homers.

8:06 PM: Pomeranz is removed from the game with left forearm tightness. No word on whether or not he was the bike klutz.

8:16 PM: In the middle of getting BABIP'd to death, Esmil Rogers allows one hard-hit ball - off the bat of Hairston, of course - for a triple. Rogers would give up four runs in the inning despite having pretty decent stuff.

8:27 PM: Eric Young Jr. beats out a comebacker. It turns into a triple after he steals second and reaches third on a throwing error.

8:36 PM: A baseball files a report with Denver police, citing cruel, unusual, and downright weird punishment. Carlos Gonzalez is targeted by said police after video surfaces of him smugly admiring what he did to the poor baseball.

8:46 PM: Bat flip. Fowler hits, as A-Mart said, the most baller home run of all-time.

9:00 PM: The Rockies are STILL up. But not for long, as Helton ends the inning on a groundout. A good summary of the inning can be found here:

9:11 PM: Scott Hairston caps off what was the least surprising of all of last night's events, as he becomes the 10th Met to hit for the cycle, but just the 343rd player ever to do it at Coors Field.

9:58 PM: More posing for the centerfield camera, as Ramon Hernandez gets all weird with a baseball while the bases are full. #QUADMEAT (Grand Slam) results in Hernandez reclaiming the club lead in homers with 4.

10:28 PM: The game is finally over, just short of four hours after first pitch. Now, we can finally find out who derped out on their bike, right?

10:51 PM: I become outraged upon receiving an e-mail from Raffy saying that Guillermo Moscoso has been called up and that Jeremy Guthrie has been placed on the DL. Moscoso? Really?

10:52 PM: LOL. Guthrie is identified as the bike klutz. In all seriousness, get well soon, Guts. Hopefully you only miss two starts.

Tons of other nuggets (including actual good ones) can be found in the links after the jump:

Recap of hits, runs, errors, injuries from Rockies' win over Mets | On the Rox — Colorado Rockies news — Denver Post
Patrick Saunders' recap of last night's events.

Ramon Hernandez's grand slam just one highlight of Rockies' win over Mets - The Denver Post

Scott Hairston Hits For The Cycle But Mets Pitching And Defense Implode In Blowout Loss To Rockies - Amazin' Avenue
"Scott Hairston had a night to remember. The Mets, as a whole, did not."