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Say it with me, people: JAMES LONEY IS OUT OF THE DIVISION!
Yes, that's right - the man who was, according to Boston Red Sox chairman Tom Werner, deemed as 'untouchable' by L.A. just a few years ago - has been traded to the Sox as part of the deal that brought Nick Punto (and his $260+ million contract) and three throw-in players to the Dodgers.
We all know that James Loney has been the Dodgers' best player since 2007, so the Rockies, D-Backs, Giants, and Padres are all breathing a collective sigh of relief. These are James Loney's numbers. You can figure out where I got them from.
When you extrapolate those figures to 162 games, it comes out to be like a .409/.656/.980 batting line with 78 home runs. James Loney was really good, but they may have done a great job in getting Punto in return. That guy is awesome.
It's not Nick Punto's fault that the Boston Red Sox signed him to a $260 million contract. He's a better baseball player than Jonathan Herrera sometimes, and he would probably dominate your adult softball league.
As for the fringe-big leaguers that the Dodgers received in return for Loney, not much is known about them. One has been injured for about two years and is collecting disability insurance money, while another one co-starred in 90's cult-classic comedy Clerks. The third has been seen around Los Angeles wearing flip flops, polo shirts with wings and glitter and giant crosses on them, and sunglasses on top of his visor (or dad hat, depending on the day).
I guess it's worth mentioning that the Dodgers have Clayton Kershaw and Matt Kemp. Little known fact: Kershaw played center for the same football team in which Matthew Stafford was the quarterback. I think it was the Detroit Lions, but I'm not sure. He is now a major league baseball pitcher! Meanwhile, Kemp is good at baseball. He once hit a ball that traveled in excess of 360 feet. He also hits a walk-off home run every two at-bats.
Manager Don Mattingly still hasn't shaved his sideburns. He really needs to get on that.
Probable pitchers and more after the jump.
Game 1 - Monday at 6:40 p.m. MT (Root Sports)
Josh Beckett vs. Jeff Francis - ROCKIES WIN 10-0!
Game 2 - Tuesday at 6:40 p.m. MT (Root Sports)
Chris Capuano (11-9, 3.37 ERA) vs. Tyler Chatwood (3-3, 4.98 ERA)
Game 3 - Wednesday at 1:10 p.m. MT (no local TV)
Joe Blanton (8-12, 5.02) vs. Drew Pomeranz (1-7, 4.78)