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Chipper Jones, Atlanta Braves Continue Playoff Chase Vs. Colorado Rockies


I, for one, was never on board with the whole "America's Team" movement that was associated with the 1990's Atlanta Braves. Sure, the '91 team went from laughing stock of the world to damn-near champions of the world (and would have been, if not for Dan Gladden and those pesky Twins). But, guys like David Justice, Ron Gant and their ilk never did it for me (although it would have been cool if the Rox had that version of Ron Gant, and not his remains), and it didn't help that I was subjected to thousands of Braves games on TBS with that nails-on-a-chalkboard voice of Skip Caray's calling the action.

Fast-forward 21 years, and I still hate the Braves. And by the time this article is finished, so will you. I will start by giving you a list of reasons why you should hate the current incarnation of the Braves as much as the 90's version, which went 33-7 against the Rockies from 1993-95, including knocking the Rox out of their first playoff series without much of a fight. Here is the list:

  • Chipper Jones

Sure, Larry Wayne Jones is, by most accounts, a Hall Of Fame-worthy baseball player who has a career batting line of .304/.401/.531 with 468 home runs, but let's examine his statistics in a little bit more detail:

Times Called "Cherper Jerns" by Skip Caray
Puppies Kicked Down Stairs
Best GIFs of All-Time Responsible For*** Keith Lockhart
Times Was Teammates with John Rocker
Career - Chipper Jones 1,352 At least 478 1 HAHAHA One too many

*** -- at least he has that going for him.

In addition to those statistics, he also got into a disgruntled old man fight with Jamie Moyer at Coors Field earlier this season. Sounds to me like he belongs in the Hall Of Jerks more so than the Hall Of Fame. But, I'll let you make your own decision because, unlike Chipper and the Braves, I'm no bully.

If you need more reasons to dislike Atlanta (aside from their nickname, which should have gone by the wayside years ago), I present to you this:

Freddie Freeman 12 48 14 20 4 1 8 18 5 9 0 0 .417 .473 1.042

Those are Freeman's career numbers against the Rockies. Check out the ratio of home runs to games played. F that guy.

Also, on that nickname front, it has come to my attention that "Barves" has been submitted to the league for approval. It would obviously only require minimal changes.

Pitching probables and more after the jump.

Game 1 -- Monday, Sep. 3 at 11:10 a.m. MT (Root Sports)

Tyler Chatwood vs. Kris Medlen - L 6-1

Game 2 -- Tuesday, Sep. 4 at 5:10 p.m. MT (Root Sports)

Drew Pomeranz (1-8, 5.13 ERA) vs. Tommy Hanson (12-7, 4.45 ERA)

Game 3 -- Wednesday, Sep. 5 at 5:10 p.m. MT (Root Sports)

Alex White (2-7, 5.58) vs. Mike Minor (7-10, 4.79)

Game 4 -- Thursday, Sep. 6 at 10:10 a.m. MT (no TV)

Jhoulys Chacin (2-4, 4.85) vs. Tim Hudson (13-5, 3.76)

The stats widget isn't working, so go here and/or here for actual statistics and information on the Atlanta Braves. You should have known better than to think that I was going to provide it to you, silly.

Atlanta Braves Injuries


Player Injury Type Injury Date
Brandon Beachy elbow 06/17/2012
Andrelton Simmons fingers 07/09/2012
Matt Diaz thumb 07/20/2012
Jair Jurrjens groin 08/01/2012