Finally! Purple Hazed Ideas has come back to Purple Row!! I know some jabroni's think that my attempt to rip off Bill Simmons is going one on one with the great one. Well DC says know your role and shut your mouth! The baby brahma bull is ready once again to layeth the smacketh down on some new Purple Hazed Ideas. If you smelllllllll...what DC...is cookin'!
(My apologies to anyone who didn't watch fake wrestling in the 90s.)
PHI is back and I'm excited for a new crop of hazy, crazy, only partially thought out ideas to make your sports fandom a more complete experience.
Those of you who are knew or not familiar, should check out some from last season but know essentially that this column exists as a place for whacky, out-of-the-box ideas to create some fun sports dialogue, ribbing, and general joyous merriment.
During the baseball off season, I got even more hazily multilayered as I stole from myself the idea I stole from Simmons and Wildes and have started an NBA themed version of this tentatively titled "Dope Thoughts." They can be found on Baller Mind Frame and the first episode is "the NBA Power Play."
There will be a few small changes this year. Now, each PHI article will contain only one main idea and one off-topic idea. I still highly encourage community participation and if you think you've got an idea that would work this space, shoot me an email.
Once I start running out of ideas, I will put together a contest (bracket) so that the Purple Row community can vote on their favorites and eventually crown a champion-of-bad-ideas-that-spilled-out-of-Drews-head. Prestigious, I know.
Taking any of this too seriously is likely to ruin it. And so I present the first Purple Hazed Idea of 2014; Replica Stadiums.
Have you ever wondered what a modern baseball game might look like if it were played at the Polo Grounds or Ebbets Field?
Most of my good (or not so good) ideas come to me when I'm powering down with a game of MLB 13 The Show (or one of its peers) but this particular idea sprang straight out of an alternate reality that I had previously never considered.
Through the power of technology, MLB 13 The Show allows players to play in exhibition, season, or even online ranked matches against opponents in classic stadiums. I had heard about places like the Polo Grounds and read about it and even seen picture, but until you actually play and/or watch game there it is impossible to fully grasp.
And while it can both educational and entertaining to participate in a virtual representation of times and places gone by, the one last missing piece is obvious; it isn't real.
So can we make it real?
If I was the czar of public works projects, I would commission the building of replica baseball stadiums.
Maybe we could build a bunch in some part of the country that could use the tourism. "Come down to Biloxi, Mississippi and tour Ebbets Field, the West Side Grounds, the Kingdome, and the Astrodome!"
Maybe you spread them all out across the country or just stick them outside Las Vegas.
These replica stadiums that remind us of the days of yore could be used to house exhibition (spring training) games, All-Star games, minor league games, and could even just act as special event centers and baseball history museums the rest of the time.
Who wouldn't want to go check out a game of AA squads playing at Shibe Park 2.0 or the old Tiger Stadium?
Other than the massive-exorbitant-ridiculous-overbearing-unnecessary cost of doing something like this, I can't see the problem!
Stadiums are expensive to build and there are already a bunch of them. Furthermore, many of these old stadiums were scrapped because accommodations, amenities, and general understanding of fan comfort have (mostly) improved over the years.
But when you go specifically to one of these replica stadiums, you don't expect all the modern conveniences (and may even have to go without constant distractions from flashy lights) and the number one priority of the patrons becomes the authenticity of the experience.
How cool would it be to step back in time, watch some baseball players in throwback jerseys play the game at odd angles, with short-porches to left or right and cavernous gorges in center field?
How cool would it be if instead of a blaring multi-million dollar sound-system blasting Katy Perry and Miley Cirus, there was just a barbershop quartet with a megaphone singing ragtime baseball music from the bleachers down the first base line?
How cool would it be if they went the full-nine and all the ushers and such wore suits and top-hats (or whatever was appropriate for the time the stadium was at its peak) and even fans dressed up to go to the games?
You'd do that. You know you'd do that.
OT-Idea: DVR Share
Since today's theme seems to be "stuff that won't happen because money rules the word," I figured I would throw this OT idea out as well.
It has occurred to me over the course of conversations (mostly with my mother) about television shows and movies and the like, that it would be super convenient if I could share what I have on my DVR with my friends and family.
Charge us a reasonable price if need be, but my mom can't start watching Game of Thrones or Newsroom because she doesn't get HBO. I have literally every episode of those two shows on my DVR, so when she comes over we binge-watch.
Since I've already gone through the effort of identifying and recording what I like and would recommend, why not allow me to take that a step further and actually share it? I know the answer to that question. So charge per transfer, or per month or something, but let us share our favorite shows and movies through the power of the internet. Please?
Well, that's it for this week folks. Check out the archives and be ready to go off the rails on a hazy train again next week!
I ask that the comments section be reserved for discussion of the topics at hand but encourage anyone who has ideas they would like to see in future pieces email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line Purple Hazed Ideas.