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Game Preview: Episode LXXVIII

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In about an hour, in a stadium pretty near by...

Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

It is a dark time for the Colorado Rockies. The forces of Darth Finger Injury have decimated the roster. Forced to field a team of AAAA sluggers and back-ups to back-ups to back-up starting pitchers, the Rockies have lost seven consecutive contests.

In attempting to evade the dreaded eighth loss in a row, the Rockies now pin their hopes on the left arm of Jorge De La Rosa. Through a season of ups and downs, De La Rosa is the Rockies best living option to halt this abominable skid.

The evil lord Mike Matheny, obsessed with defeating the Rockies, has dispatched thousands of remote probes throughout the minor leagues in search of a starter. His eye fell upon a young Sith Lord by the name of Marco Gonzalez. Gonzalez, across 13 starts in A+ and AA, has compiled a 1.89 ERA with more strikeouts than innings pitched. He will make his major league debut against our heroes.

Ryan Wheeler has returned to his home position of third base in an attempt to rescue the Rockies from the clutches of vile play of Charlie Culberson. He, along with the remaining healthy players, will fight valiantly for the future of the Republic...

Today's Lineups

ST. LOUIS CARDINALS COLORADO ROCKIES
Matt Carpenter - 3B C. Blackmon - CF
Matt Holliday - LF Corey Dickerson - LF
Allen Craig - RF Troy Tulowitzki - SS
Matt Adams - 1B Justin Morneau - 1B
Jhonny Peralta - SS Wilin Rosario - C
Peter Bourjos - CF Ryan Wheeler - 3B
Mark Ellis - 2B Brandon Barnes - RF
Tony Cruz - C DJ LeMahieu - 2B
Shelby Miller - RHP J. De La Rosa - LHP