Welcome to Tuesdays with Mitch! Today, your favorite Purple Row columnist and overall cool guy Connor will be filling in for this week as Mitch is out on vacation doing awesome things.
With us firmly in the trenches of the holiday season, it's important to take a deep breath and look at people falling over on hoverboards for like forty five minutes, laughing hysterically and avoiding your family. So, let's begin with this week's weekly roundup of the stuff that has happened since last Tuesday...
Ass of the week
Poor LeBron. At this rate he could win one thousand championships and people would still yell about him being bad or, in the case of this courtside sitter, a crybaby.
Look, if you're going to make fun of someone, at least own up to it when they catch you. Nothing worse on this planet than a two-face that's willing to make baby faces behind your back but when you turn around is suddenly super chill and totally not making fun of you the whole time. What a maroon!
Good news for a former Rockie
Shout out to Eric Young, Jr:
Eric Young Jr signs minor league deal with #brewers. Big league invite. $1 million plus incentives.— Jerry Crasnick (@jcrasnick) December 29, 2015
Just like his dad, EY is a class act. Best of luck with the Brewers! See you in Arizona in March!
Stud(s) of the week
DeMarcus Ware is a pretty swell dude. Since he's been in Denver he's surprised several high schools with gifts and seems to be an overall awesome guy. On top of that, he's been a great addition to that ferocious Broncos defense we've seen shut down just about every offense in the NFL. Here he is surprising Thomas Jefferson High School by pretending to be a new football recruit being added to the team.
Ware and Von Miller may be a fearsome duo on the field, but they seem like lovable knuckleheads off it, and this is just another example. Maybe DeMarcus could get in on that 21 Jump Street phenomenon and crack some undercover high school cases.
Zach Hodskins is a one handed walk-on for the University of Florida. He literally has one hand! Here he is making a basket in a division one college basketball game:
That's awesome. I played high school basketball and was what is commonly referred to as a 30-30 guy. That is, I would only get in if our team was up by 30 points with no more than 30 seconds left. If there was literally no chance i could blow the game, coach let me play. Meanwhile, Zach here is dropping sweet layups — after a spin move — with only one hand. Basketball is hard to be good at with two hands, I'm not even going to try it with one. You go, Zach Hodskins.
And a bunch of other stuff from around the internet
Our parent blog SB Nation has been doing incredible longform pieces for over a year now and they just released their favorites. These pieces have taken a lot of my work productivity away and I highly suggest just about every story on that page. It's amazing storytelling that is incredibly personal helps you find all the great things sports do in tiny communities and with singular people. They're like a 30 For 30 documentary, but for the unique stories you never know you wanted to read about.
One of the coolest things that's been happening a bunch this year is the videos of walk-on football players finding out they've been added to the scholarship roster. Walk-on players are some of the hardest workers in football and they truly do it for the love of the sport, so it's always awesome to see a guy get a scholarship for that. Here's a player from Boston College getting his scholarship.
A feel good clip for your Tuesday...
I will hastily admit I teared up to this video. I tear up to most videos of soldiers surprising their parents. There's a video I love of a son sending a happy birthday message home to his dad and then showing up just as the message ended. The dad cried, the son cried, I was a blubbering mess in front of my computer. It's perfect. Here's a soldier surprising his mom for Christmas:
The greatest Christmas gift a mother can receive pic.twitter.com/2bKERjLdwX— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) December 26, 2015
Finally, people falling over.
It's no mistake that people falling over is the number one funniest thing to watch in history. It happens every day and it never stops being hilarious. I especially love watching kids fall over. That may sound really mean, but have you ever watched a kid fall over? It's so dramatic and seems to happen in slow motion before your very eyes. They fall over like they forgot the ground exists and they've suddenly made a horrible realization that all of their life choices are poor and have brought them to this point.
Anyway, here's a video of people on hoverboards falling over:
Let's watch everyone crash the hoverboards they got for Christmas! https://t.co/YgK2GGBShp— SB Nation (@SBNation) December 28, 2015
The hoverboard phenomenon is not one I have hopped on yet (pun intended), but I see people in just about every walk of life riding these weird things. From JR Smith to DJ Khaled to a thousand teens at the mall. I like it when people who are ahead of me on a trend suffer a setback. It's like, what gives them the right to be cooler than me, ya know?
Anyway, that's all I've got for you. Happy Tuesday. Mitch will be back next week and will probably do a better job than I just did.
Comment on any of this stuff below, or email Mitch at email@example.com with post ideas, videos, or other media that he should know about. Follow him on Twitter, too, at @TuesWithMitch.