Welcome to the 34th Purple Row edition (and 139th overall) of Tuesdays With Mitch, where Jason Motte and Chad Qualls are here to save the day. Let's get into it...
(As noted before, the "writing portions" of some of my offseason posts will be brief. For the most part, there's not much going on with the Rockies these days and the staff here at Purple Row is covering the ins and outs of the offseason better than I can in this weekly format.)
... In fact, we're jumping straight into the weekly departments today.
IMPORTANT: A few weeks ago, I added a new poll for you to vote on your favorite clips throughout the offseason. Sometime before Spring Training rolls around, we'll crown an offseason CLIP OF THE YEAR. So don't forget to vote for your favorite at the bottom of this post. (Last week's winner was the various Monmouth bench celebrations.)
Sometimes finding enough silly or awesome things to make up a full post can be a challenge and I find myself rummaging through the back alleys of the web in search of something worth your time. That is not the case this week! The sports world and internets have been overflowing with things that made me laugh. I think there are several legitimate contenders this week that have all the tools to make a serious run at the title. Off we go!
Stud of the week:
A couple feel-good stories for you in this spot.
First, I'm not sure if the stud here is Steph Curry or the kid, but I do know that I love this video. This young man will never, ever forget that moment. Aren't sports great? Sports are great.
steph makes a kid's dream come true pic.twitter.com/EARYifz0rV— alex (@steven_lebron) December 6, 2015
Then there's the affable Craig Sager, back reporting for TNT after battling cancer for most of last season. In his first interview with the often-crusty Gregg Popovich, they shared a pretty great exchange.
Ass of the week:
I've never seen a cat put a person in a head lock and pull them down by their neck before, but this cat sure comes close. This cat is out here performing professional-level wrestling moves on that adorable, bundled-up youngster. I love that split second when the tiny mountain lion is just hanging on the kids' neck before she gets twisted down on her face. What a fantastic GIF. I can't stop watching this cat.
This cat is an ass.
And a bunch of other stuff from around the internet:
All I ask is that you watch this video in its entirety. You'll be rewarded with a surprise.
WAIT FOR IT pic.twitter.com/j1RRN0SpEa— WSHH FANS (@WSHHFANS) December 7, 2015
More fun from Australia! After checking in on the Australian Baseball League a couple times in recent weeks, we're off to some sort of Australian basketball league in which a young sheila has a chance to win a quarter of a million dollars. (Or whatever Australia's currency is, I'm not sure and it's unimportant.) Anyway, this video is fun because she comes SOOOO CLOSE only to have her heartbroken. Check out that freaking mascot too!
I think she would have been better off if she skipped the dribbling part. I think the dribbling part is what did her in. If you try to dribble with two hands and can't keep the ball below your head... maybe skip the dribbling. I doubt they call a travel there, but what do I know? Here's the Vine, which somehow makes it all even more funny:
Last week we checked in on some desolate, furious, and confused Cleveland Browns fans as they witnessed an unlikely and heartbreaking loss. The only thing that could possibly top that scene would be if an equally inept franchise lost in an equally heartbreaking and hilarious fashion, AAAAND the sad fans are grown men dressed up like morons in some weird-ass Detroit Lion-themed costumes. Well guess what guys?! Today is your lucky day! The original tweet in which this video is embedded calls these folks "Detroit Don and Superfan", so apparently they're some sort of quasi-famous fans?
Anyway, the Packers beat the Lions on a long Hail Mary on an un-timed down and these grown men in costumes were very sad and it's very hilarious for all of us.
Also from that game, I enjoyed this Vine of Calvin Johnson disappearing into disappointment.
I'm sure you've seen this a few times already since Sunday night, but I can't just NOT include the greatest celebration in the history of football.
Your Antonio Brown goalpost celebration supercut pic.twitter.com/5G8KJAcVud— The Cauldron (@TheCauldron) December 7, 2015
HAHA LOOK AT BIG STUPID DUMB IDIOT JERK TOM BRADY THROW A PICK-SIX AND TRY TO MAKE A TACKLE. TOM BRADY IS NOT GOOD AT TACKLING!
The best College Gameday sign of from Saturday is a simple and warm-spirited one:
Most Iowa sign ever. pic.twitter.com/c3nk8EUplR— WORLD CHAMPIONS (@tikkikki) December 5, 2015
BYU's Nick Emery sucker punched a guy in the throat during a basketball game. I just checked the rule book and that's definitely not allowed! Notice Emery's little stare-down and taunt as his victim lies on the court gasping for air and an understanding of the cruel world in which we live.
It's rare to have footage of someone's face as they see their own life flash before their eyes, but that's what we have here as a football flies in the general vicinity of this woman. You'd think someone working on the sidelines of an NFL game would be a little more prepared to deal with flying footballs. I'm just glad she made it through the ordeal in one piece.
And finally, Hunter Pence plays baseball for a team that most of us don't like, but it's okay to be happy for him when he gets engaged. This is a pretty baller way to pull it off, so props where props are due. His stumbling, goofy Hunter-Pence-style speech makes the whole thing even more endearing. So congrats to Hunter Pence, you goofy son of a gun.
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