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Introducing our new moderation system

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Commenters and writers: read this carefully.

Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

A few weeks ago, we updated our Rules and Regulations for commenting. As everyone surely knows, Purple Row has enlisted several frequent commenters to serve as comment moderators. They make sure things remain civil and productive. Purple Row prides itself on intelligent discussion of all things Rockies, and we’d like to keep it that way.

Starting today, we’re relieving all comment moderators of their duties. That does not mean, however, that there will be no oversight in the comments. Far from it. Today, we’re rolling out a long in development Purple Row Moderator Bot (PuRMBot). PuRMBot is an advanced automatic comment moderator. We’ve programmed it to use our Rules and Regulations as a basis. From there, PuRMBot uses a sophisticated algorithm to make sure all of you rascals are staying in line. It has the ability to automatically hide comments, send warnings, and ban accounts.

PuRMBot is not just for commenters though. It’s also dismissed (or fired, whatever) our copy editors. In addition to comment moderation, PuRMBot takes "spellcheck" to the next level and edits our articles according to SB Nation’s MLB Style Guide. We’ve also made it so that it can censor articles according to our own specified standards. Observe:

[REDACTED] Giants and their [REDACTED] even year incantations.

Thanks, PuRMBot!

We’re confident that PuRMBot will elevate the level of discourse on Purple Row, while simultaneously improving the quality of the writing staff’s output. We’ve attempted to reach out to our former moderators and copy editors for feedback on the new system, but for some reason we can’t reach them at the moment. We’re [REDACTED] sure that they're fine of course they're doing just fine. Their curious absence notwithstanding, the remaining staff is confident that they would agree: PuRMBot represents the pinnacle of [REDACTED] intelligence.

For instance, here’s a snippet from an old paragraph taken from the Purple Row archives. Notice how PuRMBot modified improved the text, only keeping in the truly relevant parts:

[REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] Bichette [REDACTED] [REDACTED] Ellis [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] [REDACTED] Neifi [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] . [REDACTED] Galarraga [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]. Helton [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] Atkins [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED].[REDACTED] [REDACTED] Zeile [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED], [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] Iannetta [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]!

I, for one, welcome our new robotic overlords. As prescient novelist Phillip K. Dick once wrote, "[REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED],  [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]."

I couldn’t have put it better myself. Going forward, this is what to expect: [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]. It’s [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] April 1.