Colorado Rockies need to punch the Los Angeles Angels in the face

They want to tell you your best player doesn't want to be here.

Star shortstop Troy Tulowitzki wants out, they say. This team is going nowhere, they say. They can't pitch. They can't walk. This team is full of Quadruple-A wannabes and has-beens. The ownership doesn't care about winning. Jeff Bridich is a Dan O'Dowd clone.

Charlie Blackmon is an April mirage. Carlos Gonzalez is done. Justin Morneau likewise. Oh, and did I mention they can't pitch?

Tulowitzki hasn't drawn a walk since before I had a beard, the young talent is too far away, Walt Weiss is in over his head ... and they can't pitch.

The base running is atrocious, the bench is laughable, the bullpen is only good when it matters least.

And did I mention the pitching? Eddie Butler is a sham -- more proof of the Rockies inability to draft and develop. Kyle Kendrick is washed up, Tyler Matzek is lost never to be found, Jordan Lyles just isn't talented enough, and what the hell has happened to Jorge De La Rosa?

This team is doomed. This team is hopeless. This is the same sorry-sack-of-excuse-making-injury-riddled-no-talent-hacks that the internet trolls and the trolls of far nicer bridges and far richer treasure have been decrying them to be for four years.

The ones who believe are the clowns.

This is the story until they change it. This is the story until they show up the diamond one day and play nine innings of quality baseball top to bottom. This is the story until they do it again the next day. And then maybe even a day after that. The Colorado Rockies better be tired of getting kicked around and be ready to do some kicking themselves. Their fans sure are.

It's nothing personal, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, but the Colorado Rockies need to punch somebody in the face. For their sake, for their future's sake, and for my sanity's sake, I hope it's you.

They need a new story.