FanPost

Projecting Rockies Prospects as Pokemon

If you haven’t been living in a hole for the past week, you’ll know that Pokemon Go is the newest craze sweeping the nation. People all over the nation are going outside, walking into other people's houses while holding their phones out like the first scene in "The Lion King". To shamelessly capitalize on the trend for precious internet clicks (and to celebrate the commencement of the mid-season PURPS list), I’ve decided to match select prospects to their Pokemon counterpart. This list is completely arbitrary and makes comparisons based off of talent, looks, Purple Row memes, etc. I’m limiting my choices to the original 151 Pokemon just to keep it simple.

Let


Riley Pint
Pokemon Doppelganger: Charmander


Charmander

Everyone is excited for Riley Pint. What’s not to like? As a high school kid, he threw a flaming fastball that reportedly touched 102 mph. That’s as hot as any fire Pokemon. You don’t want to get burned by that pitch and the deadly knuckle-slurve. Much like Charmander, Pint just beginning his journey, but we’re all ready for the day when he evolves into Charizard on the mound. I’m now picturing Riley Pint stepping onto Coors Field for the first time with wings. It’s a weird image.


Ramie Tapia
Pokemon Doppelganger: Farfetch’d


Onion-Holding Duck

Farfetch’d may be one of the strangest Generation 1 Pokemon, as he’s just so out of place. Farfetched is literally a duck with an onion. There’s now way that this creature should be able to fight the elite four. But he does, and Farfetch’d is surprisingly effective. Tapia’s swing and approach have been criticized by many for being so unorthodox, but it just works. I’d really like to see Tapia use an onion to hit a bloop double into Coors, but MLB doesn’t allow players to use custom bats.

Brendan Rodgers
Pokemon Doppelganger: Pikachu


I choose you, B-Rod!

I debated whether or not Brendan is a legendary Pokemon or not. Ultimately, I decided to go with Pikachu, the face of the Pokemon franchise. Much like Pikachu, Brendan Rodgers’ will become synonymous with the Colorado Rockies for years to come. This is a special kid and a special Pokemon.

Peter Lambert
Pokemon Doppelganger: Exeggutor


The Three Children

Exeggutor is what the three stacked kids known as Peter Lambert would dress up as for Halloween.

Jerry Vasto
Pokemon Doppelganger: Missingno


Ghost_I.0.png.

Much like Missingno, no one is sure if Jerry Vasto exists. Is he real? Is he an aberration? Is he a glitch? Regardless, the legend of Missingvasto lives on.

Bonus Round:
Connor
Pokemon Doppelganger: Magikarp


129Magikarp.0.png

Magikarp is Dumb. Connor is dumb. Coincidence? I think not.


Magikarp is literally the most worthless Pokemon in all of Pokemon. Yeah, it turns into Gyarados at level 20, but do you really want to trot out a Pokemon out into a battle with the ability to mildly refresh your opponent for an extended period of time? Due to the lack of battle skills, Magikarp gets owned every time it rears its’ dumb head in battle, much like Connor. I guess Purple Row must think that Connor can evolve into something greater, otherwise, they wouldn’t be letting him write.

What other prospect-Pokemon combinations can you come up with?

Eat. Drink. Be Merry. But the above FanPost does not necessarily reflect the attitudes, opinions, or views of Purple Row's staff (unless, of course, it's written by the staff [and even then, it still might not]).

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