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Building a Pokémon team from the Colorado Rockies

If Rockies players were Pokémon, which ones would they be?

Welcome to "From The Rooftop." This is where we can be the prototypical Party Deck Rockies fans. Sometimes we will talk seriously about the team. Sometimes we will enjoy the sunshine and barely pay attention to the game being played. Depends on the day. The point is, it’s all about the fan experience in its entirety.

★ ★ ★

Pokémon Go has turned shameless millennials like me into (literal) walking stereotypes of our generation. Many trainers have taken to their respective platforms to talk about the benefits of the app, as though leaving our mothers’ basements means that we still don’t have a crippling fear of reality. Sure, walking is great for you. But it doesn’t balance out what has become an unhealthy obsession.

It’s a shame I don’t stick to my principles. I’ve walked into a tree. My phone battery rarely survives the bus ride home. I am fluent in the language of eggs, CP, and counting paws.

Similar to Jordan, I have found my two passions of baseball and Pokémon clashing. Jordan focused on catching Pokémon while watching baseball. But what if the Pokémon were playing baseball? There are different types of players. There are different types of Pokémon. You know where I’m going with this.

If the Colorado Rockies were part of my team of Pokémon, who would our players be?

Nolan Arenado – Blastoise

Blastoise is a champion. He has a cannon that can be used to blast away enemies—or throw them out at first. Blastoise also has a move that controls the weather to enhance water-type moves. If you remember the battle animation for “Rain Dance,” it reminds you an awful lot of Arenado making it rain homers on the left field bleachers. Your starter Pokémon almost always ends up being your best one, and when push comes to shove, I’ll trust Nolan to battle just about anybody.

Jorge De La Rosa – Raticate

He’s been on your team forever. He was probably the first Pokémon you caught. But now that you are moving later into the game, you realize that he might not be the best option to carry with you.

I know JDLR has done some great work for us in the past. He helped us beat some of those early gyms when we didn’t have many Pokémon to turn to. In other words, despite Jorge’s recent success, it may almost be time to move on from the longtime Rockie and pass his rotation spot onto some of the younger arms in the system (I think we all know who I’m referring to here).

Jon Gray – Pidgeot

Jon Gray’s flow in 2015 was OK. And his performance was OK. Then he evolved over the offseason, grew out his flow, spread his wings, and is now a force to be reckoned with. Similar to the transition from Pidgeotto to Pidgeot, Jon Gray’s only visible difference between last year and this year is the outgrown locks running down his back. The greater difference can be measured in performance numbers, and eye-popping gifs. He comes at you with a fastball that gusts by you, and a whirlwind of a slider. He isn’t the face of the team just yet, but he is certainly an essential piece of the puzzle.

Trevor Story – Zapdos

Hear me out. I’m not saying that Story is a legend. But when you’re getting ready to head to the Elite Four, what’s the last thing you do? You go and catch the Big Three.

Story is a legendary bird because despite being a late addition to the team as a rookie, he has made a huge impact. By the time you’re ready to catch Zapdos, you more or less have your team put together. But then you add the bird at the last minute before heading up Victory Road, and it changes the entire complexion of your team. There aren’t many Electric Pokémon out there so if you are looking for balance of types, it can be a tough hole to fill. Zapdos makes your Electric Pokémon your best Pokémon.

Story was named the starting shortstop basically a week before Opening Day, right before the Rockies headed out on the Victory Road that is the baseball season. His electric play from Day 1 allowed the Rockies to turn a position with plenty of questions going into the year into a strength.

Tony Wolters – Onix

I have always loved Onix. He is a huge rock snake (badass) and his strong defense makes him a pain to KO. It takes a lot to hurt him. That being said, he doesn’t have many powerful moves and can’t do much damage himself. Despite his offensive shortcomings, I often stick him in my lineup simply for his swagger.

I love Tony Wolters. He is a small but gritty hustle player who also happens to be one of the best pitch framers in baseball. That being said, his measly batting average and lack of fear don’t strike fear into pitchers. Despite his offensive shortcomings, It’s good to see his name penciled into the 8-spot if for no other reason than that he’s so damn likeable.

Eddie Butler – Eevee

Butler is at a crossroads in his career. He still has potential, but it is yet to be realized. Will the Rockies try to make him into a starter? A late-inning reliever? Is he a bust? There are a few different ways he can go and succeed, but we don’t know which direction the organization will choose to take.

It’s all about options but the one thing we know for sure is that he’s not that great as of now. We will have to wait and see what he turns into.

Historic Rockies Pokémon

Jamie Moyer – Kabuto

It was pretty cool to have a fossil on the team, but he ended up not really being that good.

Rafael Betancourt – Jigglypuff

“The Human Rain Delay” often had me passed out on the couch by the end of the 8th inning.

Luis Gonzalez – Oddish

Remember this guy? The man who played every position reminds me of the smiling plant I stack with HMs so I don’t have to teach Cut or Flash to someone good.

Eric Byrnes – Abra

He was on the team for 17 days, then transported out of town before any fly balls could be hit his way.

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Rooftop Ratings

This segment blows right past the smoke and mirrors. This site spend a lot of time analytically breaking down why the Rockies are good or bad, looking at stats, and coming to a logical, balanced conclusion. But casual Rockies fans work in absolutes, and love to overreact. My weekly rooftop rating system takes this into account. I want to boil everything we say into a yes-or-no question: Are the Rockies good?

I’m giving the Rockies a:

Chatwood got wrecked last night. The one steadying force in our rotation who could actually put up decent numbers consistently has looked less than stellar since his superhuman start. His ERA is still acceptable by Rockies standards at 3.83, but considering where it once was, I am concerned for the long-term. Pair that with Daniel Descalso getting regular time in left field, and red flags are popping up like a whac-a-mole.