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Bachelor Ben Higgins is coming to a Colorado Rockies game and you can too!

Do you have questions or comments for Connor? Email connorsmailbag@gmail.com for inclusion in next week's column.

'Bachelor' Ben Higgins And Fiancee Lauren Bushnell Visit 'The Lion King' On Broadway
This dweeb is coming to Coors
Photo by John Lamparski/Getty Images

Welcome to Football Friday, a baseball column by Connor. Each week I will dive into the previous seven days of baseball news, shout my opinion into the void, discuss some things about the Colorado Rockies, and answer your emails. Some of them.

football friday

Ben Higgins, the handsome mozzarella stick that starred on the last season of ABC’s The Bachelor is coming to a Rockies game! Yes, the man that broke JoJo’s heart on national television before choosing Lauren and running away to the mountains of Colorado has chosen August 15 as a day he would like to attend a game of our favorite baseball boys!

For the low, low price of $60 a ticket you get a happy hour with the legend himself, $20 in concessions, and a game ticket! Plus, Ben will donate $10 of your ticket to a charity of his choosing! So you’re people helping people here, it’s rude if you don’t purchase a ticket to this event, frankly.

Ben hasn’t chosen his charity yet, obviously, but I have to assume it will be something really great. Hopefully something that allows personality-free handsome men like Ben the chance to also appear on national television!

Ben Higgins’s Rockies game debut will feature a Q-and-A session so if you are going to attend I’ve prepared some questions I would like you to ask him. Please credit me when asking him these questions, thank you.

Question 1: What’s next for Ben and Lauren?

Let’s start with something Bachelor related: I’d like to know what’s next for Ben and Lauren after the rush of the show has died down and the real, actual relationship begins. Are they going to stay together? Was it all for the show? Is love real?

Question 2: If he were the GM of the Rockies what is one big move he would make?

He’s at a Rockies game, let’s get his opinion on the Rockies. No softball answers either; don’t settle for a cop out like, “I would definitely extend Arenado.” Yeah, no crap buddy, so would everyone. I want real bones and grit here, give me a big move he’d make.

Question 3: What is it like dating 25 women?

Is it weird? Do you go to bed exhausted from the feelings?

Question 4: What is your opinion on Dinger the Dinosaur?

Follow up, is there room for someone like Dinger on The Bachelor?

Question 5: Would you have traded Tulo?

Honest answers only, no cop outs. No “I think Jeff did what he thought he had to do” crap. Is Ben a pro-Tulo trade guy or is he someone who regrets the move to this day? I have to know immediately.

Question 6: JoJo vs. Carlos Gonzalez, pick one

Don’t give any parameters, here. Keep this one vague. Are they fighting? Is it a home run derby? Is it who is more attractive? Who knows! It’s vague, that’s the point, pick JoJo or CarGo.

Question 7: Can you get me a job at ABC?

Instead of saying “me” say Connor. Ask if he can get me, Connor, a job at ABC. Thanks.

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Connor watches The Bachelorette

This season, I've decided to watch The Bachelorette, I have never watched this show before, and I'm not sure if I like it or if I am just a fan of people making themselves look like idiots on national television. Maybe a little of both. Anyway, in this section, I will talk about something I noticed during my viewing of The Bachelorette.

What the crap is going on right now on this show?

Last episode ended with Luke professing his love to JoJo right before she handed out the roses to the final four. She didn’t know what to do in this moment so it ended on a cliffhanger, nobody knew who JoJo was going to cut loose.

Then she cut Luke.

JoJo is officially a tyrant. I’m not sure if this is intentional on her part, maybe she just has a weird sense of emotion when people tell her they love her. But this is the second time she’s immediately dumped someone after they said they loved her. Alex, the short marine who didn’t like anyone, professed his love to her and she immediately dropped him into a truck and drove him away from Argentina.

Now, Luke, the wholesome cowboy from Texas, has suffered the same fate. He was speechless, I was speechless, JoJo was crying. But we had our final three. Jordan, Robby, and Chase. Three men who literally look the same to me and whose personalities vary from “jock” to “other ... jock?” Nobody’s quirky on the show anymore, it’s literally three men who have varying takes on the same human programming. So what do we do this episode? We take personalities out out of the game and get straight physical, baby. JoJo takes them all to the fantasy suite where they spend the night together (likely just playing Backgammon and reading the Bible all night).

Except Chase.

Chase, the Colorado State grad, gets invited to the fantasy suite, he gets to go to the fantasy suite! He’s in the fantasy suite! He’s literally minutes from his wildest fantasies in a suite, it’s in the name!

Then he tells JoJo he loves her.

It’s a wild few seconds as JoJo’s face goes from smiling and carefree to looking as though the pizza she was promised didn’t have sausages does, in fact, contain sausages.

She dumps Chase, bringing her body count to three. JoJo is a tyrant of feelings, she coaxes these men into a feelings trap, hoping they reach peak vulnerability in front of several cameras.

Then she shatters their hearts in a savage ambush.

Chase gets upset, he causes a scene, he refuses to leave. He’s is crying, his first time showing emotion since 2002.

We have our final two.

Next week’s finale will be Robby vs. Jordan. A true matchup of two men who look and act 80% similarly, both of whom have had controversy surrounding past relationships, both of whom have likely been on a yacht and said the words “Now this isn’t true of ALL minorities but...”

I can’t wait to see which one she chooses (Jordan) and decides to spend the rest of her life with (it’s Jordan).

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The Good Opinion of the Week

Each week, I will personally scour Rockies-related Twitter feeds for good opinions on food, music, movies, or even bottled water. I will feature anything that I look at and think "that is a good opinion." This week, the good opinion comes from John Reidy! John is a noted Internet personality best known for his Tier System of fandom which I of course am in Tier One of. Here is his opinion:

See, here’s the thing about people complaining about Pokémon Go: They’re the lame ones.

It’s just a thing, it’s a fad, these things happen. The only thing worse than people who get a little too into a fad is the people who act like they’re above the fad. I’ve got a secret for you. You’re probably not. You just want to seem cool and above people, like you don’t like any dumb things.

Everything we like is dumb in a way. Sports are ridiculously dumb, why are they a thing? I don’t know, but I like them anyway. The costumed strong boys pushing each other around for upwards of three hours, yeah it really gets my blood flowing folks.

Look, just stay in your lane. Nobody who likes Pokémon Go is hurting your life, so shut up and move on. I promise you this, you will enjoy life a lot more when you stop judging your interests against others.

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Has Connor Been Owned? (By someone other than Thomas Wilson)

Each week, our team of investigators and officials here at Connor, Inc., will look into whether Connor was the victim of an "own." For the uneducated, an own is often a comeback or put down that renders the person speechless and unable to turn the conversation around. It's also described as a "serve" or "savage." I'm a medical miracle in that at no point in my life have I been owned by anyone not named Thomas Wilson online or in real life.

Here is what is being brought forth to the Committee of Owns this week as alleged evidence of my owning:

What in the... what... wh...

Travis Sarandos (who is not me), attempts to parody me with this tweet and folks, I’m upset. Not only because this is a vicious attack on my reputation but also that this is a direct result of Twitter not verifying me last week.

I’m livid. I’ve sent Twitter numerous emails. I demand retribution for this cyber attack on my good name.

The committee has ruled I was not owned in this instance because it is Twitter’s fault I’m in this position in the first place!

Regards,

Connor