A travel guide to Milwaukee from someone who spent one night there

Welcome to Football Friday, a baseball column by Connor. Each week I will dive into the previous seven days of baseball news, shout my opinion into the void, discuss some things about the Colorado Rockies, and answer your emails. Some of them.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin! The Brew City, the Beer City, the Cream City! I spent one night in this town and attended two (2) Colorado Rockies baseball games. Much like the first installment of this series about New York, I’m here to tell you all the best spots in Milwaukee and all the best things to do!

Keep in mind, this is the only night I’ve ever spent in Milwaukee so my expertise is limited but still justified.

Miller Park

First, let’s discuss where I spent the majority of my time while in Milwaukee: Miller Park.

The Brewers home ballpark is now 15 years old and you wouldn’t be able to tell if you were there. One of the more spacious, aesthetically pleasing stadiums I’ve been in. Plus, there’s a dang sausage race.

If you’ve never experienced the sausage race in person, wow folks, you’re in for a treat. I’ve never been to Churchill Downs or Daytona but I can’t imagine there’s much more of a rush than watching those sausages storm by you as you cheer for your favorite one (which is Chorizo).

The Rockies lost both games in embarrassing fashion so, really, the sausage race was all I had. I watched with more excitement than I did for any of the Rockies relievers.

The second day I was there they did a sausage relay, which they made little kids also dress up as sausages and run the second leg of the race. Really adorable.

Miller Park is great.

The Bars

I attended one bar. It was cool. A random Rockies fan found me and complained to me about Walt Weiss for ten minutes. If that was you, what’s up man? Glad we could bond over our shared disappointment in the bullpen and the manager. Hope the rest of your night was good and not filled with bullpen meltdowns.

They had a great special on Pabst Blue Ribbon (TM) and I partook in a game called Bar Dice. Basically, I left a true Milwaukeean and I now claim to be from there when people ask me. I am a Milwaukee expert.

The Food

I ate one bratwurst and one burger while I was in Milwaukee. The burger was amazing, the brat was pretty good. Both had this mustard that I had never had before that I am now obsessed with. I ate the bratwurst at the ballpark and this guy upsold me on a beer. I ordered the small beer and he said “You look like you need a large” and I was like “You know what? I do need a large, you only live once and I am an adult male in need of a large ass beer.” So I got one. Thanks to that guy for showing me the light and for making the Brewers two more dollars.

The Rockies

They were bad folks. Well, apart from Jon Gray and Tyler Anderson and Nolan Arenado. The rest though, boy, they were real bad. I was sad.

A cool thing happened though. During the Tuesday night game, Boone Logan was pitching and he kept checking the runner at second base. The Brewers fans were restless and angry, they were booing every time Boone checked the runner. After Boone was lifted for a righty, the crowd erupted into boos to let Boone now they didn’t like it when he did part of his job.

I did not boo. Three rows above the dugout I was clapping, I said “Atta boy Booney!” and he looked at me. I pointed.

He pointed back.

Wow, what a rush, you guys. You know when you look back and think about when you met your best friend? I think about that moment a lot now. Because Boone and I are best friends.

Boone Logan is my best friend.

I wonder what city I will go to next.

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The Good Opinion of the Week

Each week, I will personally scour Rockies-related Twitter feeds for good opinions on food, music, movies, or even bottled water. I will feature anything that I look at and think "that is a good opinion." This week, the good opinion comes from Anthony Masterson. Who tweets:

Chicago pizza is not good.

I know it gets a little dramatic on Twitter and people act like food that is good is actually bad but I just cannot get into Chicago pizza.

I lived in New York for almost a year and I’m not saying New York pizza is perfect, but it at least understands what pizza is. Pizza isn’t a casserole with a thousand pounds of dough. It shouldn’t feel like a chore to eat pizza.

Chicago pizza took pizza, a loving and perfect finger food and made it a dang problem.

It’s bad. I can’t get behind it. I won’t get behind it.

★ ★ ★

Who is better: Connor Farrell or Connor Harrell?

The Detroit Tigers have an outfield prospect named Connor Harrell, weirdly enough that is only one letter separated from my name, Connor Farrell. Each week we will compare the previous weeks in our lives and find out who is better, Connor Farrell (me) or Connor Harrell.

Connor Harrell had a good week. In fact, since this segment started, Harrell has been on a complete and total two week tear. Hitting .405 with twelve runs scored and five RBI. Harrell was 10-for-24 this week, his average has raised all the way up to .282.

This week for Connor Farrell was pretty good also; we walked off in kickball and I also am going to take credit for jump starting Connor Harrell’s season and lighting a fire underneath him. He wants to prove to the world he’s better than me, I get that.

This week, it’s a tie. Both of us are equally great. Congrats Harrell.

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This week, in the Purple Row store

In this section, I will use my creative skills to create something that I am proposing to sell this week in the Purple Row store. This week, I have a hat to promote my quest to be verified by Twitter. It will be offered in the Purple Row store for 19.99 British pounds and will include one (1) free hug from Bryan Kilpatrick. He’s a good hugger so this is a heck of a deal.

Heck yeah you’re going to look awesome in that bad boy. In the Purple Row store now.

Regards,

Connor