Exploring the multiverse with the Colorado Rockies

Welcome to Football Friday, a baseball column by Connor. Each week I will dive into the previous seven days of baseball news, shout my opinion into the void, discuss some things about the Colorado Rockies, and generally just be a nuisance.

I consider myself a bit of an amateur scientist. By this I mean I go on Wikipedia and look at science articles for about a half hour a week and then consider myself an expert on these articles.

One of these articles that I’ve come across in my research of science, is an article describing the multiverse theory.

The multiverse theory is the hypothesis that there are an infinite number of universes including our own. It’s not just an “alternate timeline” theory but more that all of these universes happen simultaneously with each other. Basically, there is a universe for every single one of the infinite possibilities that could’ve happened both to you and anyone else. There’s a universe for everything, there’s even a universe where Bobby DeMuro kissed a girl (as crazy as that sounds).

So, if we take this hypothesis as fact, that means the Rockies’ trade deadline has infinite possibilities where they made completely different decisions than the one we exist in. With that in mind, let’s explore the Rockies Multiverse (TM) together!

The Universe Where the Rockies Were Buyers

In the universe we exist in, the Rockies stood pat. Whether or not that was a good idea is irrelevant to the discussion of the multiverse: we’re here to explore the other universes. In this first universe we’ll explore, the Rockies were buyers at the deadline. Looking at the roster on August 1 (and now) the Rockies had major holes in their bullpen, their bench, and a starting first baseman. In this universe, they bought to fill those holes and make a run.

Rockies trade Omar Carrizales to Rays for Steve Pearce

The Rays wound up trading Steve Pearce to Baltimore in our universe for a 21-year-old High-A catcher in Jonah Heim. The Rockies have a High-A catcher in Dom Nunez but he’s much more highly regarded than Heim. Carrizales is a utility outfielder who just seems to be able to hit, even if it’s not for power. The Rockies move a prospect from a position of depth for a guy that they need immediately. Pearce slots in as the starting first baseman, pushing Reynolds to a bench role and automatically improves the depth of the bench. Imagine a bench that has Mark Reynolds pinch hitting over Ben Paulsen or Rafael Ynoa. Pretty good.

Rockies trade Kyle Freeland for Will Smith

There will likely be comments below saying this is a steep price for a reliever like Smith. But, I don’t care. The market for arms was obviously insanely high and in our universe, and it’s the same in this one. Freeland is an exciting prospect, one that has built himself some hype since being a first-round pick. But you gotta spend money to make money. Smith has been a very good reliever with an elite K rate for the last three seasons and STILL has three years of control with his arbitration coming up. He’s a chance to shore up a bullpen with proven talent, a chance this universe’s Rockies are willing to take.

Rockies trade Jack Wynkoop for Joe Smith

Take your shots when you have them folks. Joe Smith might not work out but he’s a rental and Jack Wynkoop’s pure velocity isn’t going to work at Coors Field, so give him a shot in California—maybe he can make something of himself.

So the Rockies acquired two impact players and a guy with a fake name that a criminal in a cartoon would use if Officer Bugs Bunny stopped them for running a red light.

Pearce and Smith immediately shore up spots the team needs to be shored up, the team is better than they were the day before. Whether or not the run is worth it, we’ll never know. But they’re taking their shot.

The Universe Where the Rockies Were Sellers

We’ve travelled through the universe where the Rockies were buyers and landed ourselves in a universe where the Rockies have become sellers. Though they’ve gone 12-5 since the All-Star break the organization has made the decision to sell it’s expiring assets and go for a run next season. Though it’s a route that may cause the ire of some fans, the Rockies believe that by selling today they make their contention window stronger in 2017.

Rockies trade Boone Logan, Jorge De La Rosa, and Nick Hundley at deadline to restock their farm and add talent to the higher levels

The one thing that may hold the Rockies back in 2017 is their potential lack of sustainable depth in the farm. As the season wears on, guys will get hurt. That is the nature of the MLB season. When you enter a contention window you don’t just need a 25-man roster that will compete, you need guys that can slide in and produce ENOUGH that it won’t kill you if minor guys go down. Now, obviously, losing Story or Arenado for a full season would kill any team. But the Rockies need guys that can keep the team afloat if the injury bug knocks out a bullpen arm or two.

That’s where moving expiring contracts comes into play. The Rockies of this universe saw an opportunity to shore up their future window with guys that they didn’t see contributing to it. Hundley for cash considerations or a flakey bat, De La Rosa for fringe power arms (the Bridich special) and Logan for a legitimate infield prospect or top 100 arm.

The idea isn’t that these trades are guaranteed to help the window, but that they’re insurance. The Rockies just bought renters insurance and all it cost was a Nick Hundley! What a deal!

The Universe Where the Giant Alien Muskrats Have Taken Over

Oh, God help us, these evil muskrats. We must have taken a wrong turn when we were leaving the other universe and somehow ended up here. The Giant Alien Muskrats took over swiftly and powerfully, they crushed our infrastructure and ate all those that opposed them. We now live in constant oppression, there is no baseball, there are no Rockies, there are no trade deadlines. The muskrats have taken everything from us. God help us all.

★ ★ ★

The Good Opinion of the Week

Each week, I will personally scour Rockies-related Twitter feeds for good opinions on food, music, movies, or even bottled water. I will feature anything that I look at and think "that is a good opinion." This week, the good opinion comes from ANYONE WHO IS A COLORADO STATE RAMS FAN.

That’s right, baby, it’s the annual Rocky Mountain Showdown, and when CU fans aren’t too busy pretending they don’t care about CSU or coming up with lazy jokes about goats, they love to watch their team lose to the Rammies.

The thing about CSU is they’re the best, the dang best, and the thing about CU is they’re probably near the bottom. That’s just facts, folks! I’m just spitting literal, actual facts that the CU Buffaloes are bad.

Go Rams.

★ ★ ★

Who is better: Connor Farrell or Connor Harrell?

The Detroit Tigers have an outfield prospect named Connor Harrell, weirdly enough that is only one letter separated from my name, Connor Farrell. Each week we will compare the previous weeks in our lives and find out who is better, Connor Farrell (me) or Connor Harrell.

This past week was a rough one for Connor Harrell. Just one hit in the last seven days, no RBI and an average that dropped back below .260 on the cold streak. Overall, Harrell hasn’t finished off his season the way he wanted to.

This past week for Connor Farrell was pretty good! I went to a Hispanic festival and ate several different kinds of tacos. Smacked three hits including an RBI double in kickball. Got hyped out of my mind for the Rocky Mountain Showdown. I had a great week.

This week Connor Farrell is better than Connor Harrell.

Better luck next week, Harrell.

★ ★ ★

This week, in the Purple Row store

In this section, I will use my creative skills to create something that I am proposing to sell this week in the Purple Row store. This week, I have a shirt that represents how I feel about Boone Logan, who is my best friend.

The shirt is on sale now in the Purple Row store for 450 Mexican Pesos. It comes with a free Purple Row sticker and a phone call from me, pretending to be Boone Logan. Act now!

Regards,

Connor