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Colorado Rockies 2017 promotional giveaways, an annotated list

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Here are the games you need to get tickets to in order to get the best swag

Philadelphia Phillies v Colorado Rockies Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images

Every year Major League Baseball teams try to juice attendance at certain games by luring them to games with various prizes and trinkets, and the Colorado Rockies are no exception. On Wednesday they revealed their promotional giveaway schedule and there are some gems to behold/be had. Most of us can’t make it to every game, so how do we plan which games to attend to obtain the best giveaways?

This is the type of hard hitting analysis that Purple Row was created to give. This list (in no particular order) doesn’t include Coors Field staples like Weather and Science Day (Thursday, April 27) or Bark at the Park (Wednesday, August 16) because those are days where you bring something to the stadium, rather than receive something.

The Best of the Best

Friday, June 16: Jon Gray Hair Hat

Alas, there is no picture of this yet, but that’s probably because it would be redundant—you already know you want one. What better way to show your love for the budding Rockies ace than to rock a hat with his faux locks flowing out? This would also be a bonus for the follicly challenged among us, so expect to see Connor trying to snag an extra one.

Saturday, May 27: Nolan Arenado Jersey

Sports jerseys are expensive and, besides that, they tend to date themselves too quickly (/stares forlornly at Felipe Paulino jersey). But if you can snag a jersey of one of the best players in baseball, a potential future hall of famer, at no cost and see a baseball game at the same time? I’m surprised this game isn’t already sold out! It might be the only way to drown out the Cardinal-red that will surely take over the stadium that day.

Saturday, April 8: DJ LeMahieu NL Batting Champion Bobblehead

Revisit the controversy with a bobblehead of beloved expectation-defier DJ LeMahieu with his .348 batting average on the base. Will it look like DJ? Do bobbleheads ever? That’s not the point. The point is it’s the perfect addition to any work desk and it’ll help you immortalize a number which is sure to go down in Rockies lore for ages to come.

Friday, April 7: 2017 Magnet Schedule

Sunday, October 1: Fan Appreciation Day

It is my assertion that the two best days to go to the stadium are the first and last games of the season. Of course it means more if you can make it to more games in between, but getting to see the stadium and the city wake up from a long winter’s nap is a party like no other. The Magnet Schedule is just a bonus to help prove you were there.

And Bobby DeMuro got it right last year when he said there is something special about the last game of the season. Even in years where the Rockies have done poorly, it’s fun to get to say goodbye to the team and the stadium before winter sets in. Besides, the Rockies and Dodgers will be battling to settle the NL West crown this year, so you’ve got to be there!

Monday, July 3 and Tuesday, July 4: Fireworks Night

I know some people are partial to bonfires at the cabin or long days at the lake for their Independence Day festivities, but I’m not sure anything beats a baseball game with a post-game fireworks show. And the Rockies put on one of the best public fireworks displays I’ve ever seen. Really, get your tickets now.

Saturday, July 22: Adam Ottavino STAR WARS Bobblehead

Death, taxes, and Star Wars Night at a baseball stadium. Over the past two years Carlos Gonzalez and Charlie Blackmon have gotten the Star Wars Bobblehead treatment and, despite what you may think, they are pretty good.

Friday, September 29: 2018 Colorado Rockies Magnet Schedule & Fan Appreciation Postgame Fireworks

Two promotions for the price of one, folks. Can’t beat that. And don’t sleep on the magnet schedule. What better way to keep your fanbase excited throughout the winter than to give them a schedule for the upcoming season to put on their fridge!

Saturday, July 8: Marvel Super Heroes Day and Bobblehead

Just when you thought you were safe from the world of extended universes, Marvel is now invading the sporting arenas! The nerds really are taking over...

Honestly, this would probably be a fun game to bring along a younger relative, and, as we’ve established, everybody loves a bobblehead.

Standard Fare

Sunday, April 9: Rockies Hooded Henley

It’s a nice thought, but outdoor April baseball in Denver could require a heck of a lot more layering than a mere Henley.

Monday, April 10: $1 Hot Dog

Unlike hot dog boy Connor and hot dog boy Bobby, I’m ambivalent towards hot dogs. Sure, they are the perfect ballpark sandwich, but you only get one for the $1 coupon, and it’s pretty small anyway. But in case you miss this one, they also have the giveaway on Thursday, May 11, Wednesday, June 21, Monday, July 17, Wednesday, August 2, and Tuesday August 29. Go nuts.

Friday, July 21: Rockies T-Shirt

The way to anyone’s heart is through free food and free t-shirts. Why do you think everyone loves college so much? If you know where to look you can find ‘em anywhere!

Sunday, August 6: Faith Day postgame concert by Newsboys

Postgame concerts seem to be coming more and more popular around baseball, so if you’re interested in getting two entertainments for the price of one, all you’ll have to do is endure a game against the Phillies in the August heat.

Sunday, May 7: Rockies Rookies Run the Bases

Sunday, September 17: All Kids Run the Bases (Postgame Event)

If you’ve never seen a bunch of toddlers and grade school kids patiently wait their turn to sprint around the bases of a big league diamond you’ve missed out on one of the truest expressions of joy you can witness. And, if you are a parent, it’s a great way to get your children to wear themselves out before heading home. Everybody wins!

Sunday, August 20: Rockies Baseball Cap

Because we all need a hat to wear to mow the lawn or paint the living room.

Thursday, June 22: 2017 Colorado Rockies Team Poster

Will it be a good year to have the team poster or another one where it’ll end up bent and crushed before you get home anyway so why bother keeping it? At least your eight-year-old cousin would appreciate it when you forget to get him a birthday present next month.

Strange and Whimsical

Sunday, June 18: Father’s Day BBQ Spatula

Apparently Father’s Day weekend needs some attendance boost because there are giveaways every day of this weekend. If you ever wanted to imprint your burger with the Rockies logo, this free ballpark giveaway will probably disappoint you but will still look pretty cool hanging off the grill.

Sunday, July 9: Military Appreciation Day BBQ Apron

Might as well complete the set.

Saturday, August 5: Baseball Card Special Edition Pack

Baseball cards were once the preferred currency of neighborhood kids across the country. Now they just tend to accumulate in random places until you stumble upon them years later and ask yourself, “Why do I still have these Tyler Colvin cards?” Though, if this really is the year the Rockies break through to contention again, it could be a fun collector’s item.

Saturday, June 17: MLB Play Ball Weekend: Plastic Bat and Ball Set

Passing on the love of baseball to the next generation is literally why the game is still around. That’s why putting this promo on Father’s Day Weekend is actually pretty brilliant and makes me want to get out to this game to procure one for my own little player to be named later.

Friday, April 21: Earth Day T-Shirt

Never pass up a free t-shirt, folks. Especially one that can help fight recyclops.

Sunday, July 23: Lunch Cooler Bag

When I was in grade school I always brought my lunch in a paper bag because I was notorious for losing things everywhere I went; one time I came home from school without shoes, for some reason. Needless to say, I could never be trusted with something like a cool lunch box. But if we had gotten some at a game for free, I’d like to think my parents would risk it.

Sunday, May 14: Mother’s Day Tote Bag (presented by Chick-fil-a)

Unless that bag has a sandwich in it or you forgot to get your mom a gift (which, you’re probably bringing her to this baseball game), why bother?

Tuesday, June 6: LED Light Bulb (exit giveaway)

If this game wasn’t against the defending American League champion, it would probably be last. It also gets a bump because I am fascinated by the idea of how an “exit giveaway” would work. Can you imagine the dad-jokes if they lose?

Dad: Turn out the lights, the party’s over.

You: Oh no...

Dad: Really wasn’t a bright showing, was it?

You: Please stop...

Dad: They really extinguished that rally, huh?

You: I’m putting myself up for adoption.

Saturday, April 22: Tote Bag

This one doesn’t even offer the hope of a delicious chicken sandwich inside. Pass.

★ ★ ★

Which giveaways are your favorites? Which do you find moderately perplexing? What games are you already planning on going to purely because of the giveaway? Let us know in the comments.