FanPost

Rack 'Em, Stack 'Em Rowbots (My MLB Team Rankings)

Well, this is an interesting challenge. Now I feel compelled to compile my list. I'll be interested to see how the final rankings shake out over the site...

1. Rockies. This is at once a "duh, of course" and not. I'm not a Colorado native, and didn't grow up rooting for the Rockies (heck, I was in high school in upstate NY when they started playing). That said...I've lived in Colorado for ten years now, and this place has gotten into my blood...which is purple, by the way.

2. Mets. This was my team growing up, and the team I was rooting for when I was at Shea Stadium in April of 1993 to see them play a certain brand new expansion team. Having a Brooklyn-born-and-raised father who adopted the Mets after being heartbroken by the Dodgers will do that. Pretty neat trick on my part given that most of the baseball I could watch outside of trips to my grandparents' house was Cubs and Barves. Yeah, NY fans can be obnoxious, but Mets fans are nothing if not passionate and loyal.

3. Orioles. My AL team. I grew to enjoy them while I was living in the Baltimore area after I graduated from college. They were trbl then. It didn't matter.

4. Reds. This is partially, but not completely, a nod to my lovely wife, who spent a lot of her formative years in Cincinnati and grew up a Reds fan. It's partially an acknowledgement that Cincy is, in many ways, the grande dame of baseball cities. It's also partially derived from memories of living in Cedar Rapids, IA in the 80's, when CR's Midwest League team was affiliated with the Reds.

4. Blue Jays. You can have Bautista, but it was hard not to care about these guys given their longstanding affiliation with the Syracuse Chiefs. Also, I heart Joe Carter and Dave Stieb.

5. Royals. I remember the 1985 World Series. It broke my heart to see how far they fell, and I couldn't be too upset when they beat the Mets to return to the top in 2015. This one is also a nod to my late mom, as the Royals were one of the teams she liked.

6. Twins. Even when they win, you can't hate them. You just can't. It'll be a great day when they can slay their Yankees playoff demons.

7. Pirates. Now, I don't remember the 1979 WS, but I do remember the really good Pirate teams of the late 80's and early 90's, and it sucked to see them fall into a generation of mediocrity. Their fans and city deserved better, even if they've had the Steelers as a very nice salve.

8. Indians. Another team and city that deserve better. I bag on Cleveland as much as the next guy, but the league is just better when they're successful.

9. Rays. They've just evolved into such a fun bunch of players to watch. Granted, they've regressed a bit since Maddon left, but the imprint he left on that organization is still bearing fruit in a lot of ways.

10. Mariners. Another lovable loser. Seattle is a fantastic city and could use a winner that's not the Seahawks.

11. White Sox. Confession time: I enjoy Hawk Harrelson...like, a lot. He's not good, but he's lovably goofy. Also, this team gets really short shrift having to share a city with the Cubs, even though they've been at least as successful.

12. Athletics. We'll always have 1989.

14. Tigers. We're well into the gray "meh" area here. Detroit could use some good in its life.

15. Rangers. So close, yet so far. I really wanted them to win both of those WS...

16. Angels. Pretty meh, overall, but don't forget that they're American heroes for what they did in '02. That buys a whole lot of grace.

17. Astros. Bagwell, Biggio, Berkman...yet, Clemens and Mike Scott. Ebb and flow.

18. Brewers. Meh. They're there. They gave us Robin Yount, yet also Bud Selig and Ryan Braun. Don't worry, it's only 6 months until training camp.

19. Marlins. Some of the biggest Lucky McLuckertons that ever lucked into two rings and a new stadium. I see you, Jim Leyland.

20. Nationals. I liked them better when they were called the Expos.

21. Padres. They're entirely too irrelevant for me to really care, overall, but they get knocked down solely for being a division rival.

22. Diamondbacks. I should hate them more, but I don't. It's still too bad that Eric Byrnes wouldn't know he's being outplayed if it tried and failed to slide into first base. Also, Phoenix is probably the second-worst sports city in the country.

23. Dodgers. La la...can't buy me riiiings....

24. Cubs. No, really, you're annoying, and you cease to be lovable losers when you play it to the hilt. Watch for these guys to morph into Red Sox 2.0. Ugh.

25. Cardinals. The whole Best Fans In Baseball(TM) schtick may be the most overblown and undeserved thing in the league. Get off your high horses.

26. Red Sox. You were lovable before 2004, and fans who were around before then are some of the most passionate and knowledgeable in the game. Then the bandwagon went out of control...and a thousand stereotypes were born.

27. Phillies. These fans would boo their own mothers, and they lose even more points for being a hated division rival growing up, and for representing my absolutely least favorite city in the United States.

28. Yankees. I get so sick of Yankee fans regaling people with all the WS that were won generations ago, many of which came as a result of practices that would likely be called collusion today. They do know the game, though, and I really don't dislike the current roster, at least. That said, Evil Empires is Evil Empires

29. Braves. Atlanta is by far the worst sports town in the country, and the bandwagon for this team is no exception. Yes, I'm bitter that they owned the NL East for years, and Larry will always be a curse word to me. Seeing the Mets write Chapter 1 of John Rocker: Clownfraud will always warm my heart, to my dying days.

30. Giants. It's counterintuitive, but if Patriots fans all became baseball fans, they'd be Giants fans. EVERY minor bit of adversity is evidence of a conspiracy or other foul play (and thus an excuse to whine INCESSANTLY) to these jerks. Even worse is that their media feeds it. Because, you know, those three rings in five seasons are totally symbols of the Man keeping you down or some stupidity like that.

Eat. Drink. Be Merry. But the above FanPost does not necessarily reflect the attitudes, opinions, or views of Purple Row's staff (unless, of course, it's written by the staff [and even then, it still might not]).

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