The best 30 MLB teams, ranked (#1 may surprise you....) PLUS: Poll!

Hello everyone,

I made my ranking of the 30 MLB teams. To adhere to current practice of generating clicks, I have adjusted the title accordingly. Unfortunately SB Nation is clearly behind the times and won't allow me to make this a slideshow with ads plastered all over the screen, so I made mine a boring list (hey, at least you won't need a quadruple-double-ultra core processor with Google Fiber to display it in a reasonable time scale!)

All joking aside, a bit about me and my MLB fan history: I was born in Denver in 1992, so I barely pre-date the Rockies. I would often watch games with my dad in the painful years of the early-mid 2000s. I remember watching much of the 2007 run, and Game 163 (probably my favorite game I've ever watched).

I still live in Denver nowadays, although I don't have cable anymore. So I really rely on the Row to keep me up to date!

Anyways, I have a list!

  1. Colorado Rockies: (duh). (Okay, I lied, this won't surprise anyone!) My hometown team, and there's always something special about rooting for small market teams anyways. Coors Field is the best field in baseball.
  2. Detroit Tigers: I needed a team to root for in the AL. My dad's side of the family all live in Michigan too, and one of their top prospects is named Manning (also my last name!) so that's cool. And Miguel Cabrera is fun to watch
  3. Washington Nationals: My brother used to live in DC, and I enjoyed visiting the area, although I'd never want to live there, like ever. Also went to a game there 2 seasons ago and it was an enjoyable experience (although Coors Field is far superior).
  4. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: A close friend of mine lived there growing up. And Mike Trout is pretty good too
  5. Toronto Blue Jays: I like Tulo. Also The Batflip was fun too. Certainly a fun team all around.
  6. Baltimore Orioles: Gotta root for any team that's in the same division as the 2 disgustingly rich and obnoxious clubs (also goes for #5).
  7. Cleveland Indians: I really enjoyed watching them beat the Red Socks in the playoffs last year. If only they could have beaten the Cubs.... (and okay,
  8. Seattle Mariners: Ichiro has one of the coolest approaches to hitting I've ever seen, so they get props for signing him out of Japan. Also a team that deals with kinda wonky park factors.
  9. Pittsburgh Pirates: Hurdle always has a place in my heart. Also McCutchen is a fantastic human being and player. I don't have a lot of NL teams ranked high because they tend to be more direct competition to the Rockies, but the Bucs are a team I don't mind seeing in the mix if the Rox can't cut it.
  10. Chicago White Sox: Now for a lot of teams I'm kinda "meh" about
  11. Oakland Athletics: Ehh
  12. Cincinnatti Reds: meh
  13. Houston Astros: Jose Altuve is cool, I guess
  14. Miami Marlins: bleh
  15. TB Rays: yeah, sometimes I forget this team exists
  16. Texas Rangers: Why do we play a home-and-away series against them every year? We're not rivals, MLB; stop trying to make COL/TEX rivalry happen.
  17. Minnesota Twins: I'm a twin; so that's cool, maybe
  18. KC Royals: About as exciting to me as the geography in Kansas.
  19. Milwaukee Brewers: Now I'm getting into the "actively dislike" section. Why do we open against them every year? Also, Ryan Braun.
  20. San Diego Padres: Just an annoying team that grabs ex-Rockies flameouts and makes them somewhat viable through use of the marine layer. Also, reverse-Coors
  21. Arizona Diamondbacks: I do give them a couple points because they play in a hitter's park like us. But they always have just one guy every year (aside from Goldy) who kinda sucks overall but absolutely terrorizes us.
  22. Atlanta Braves: Going on the road here just seems to have killed several of our season over the last 5-7 years.
  23. Miami Marlins: I hate it when the rockies end up on ESPN just because Stanton hits an 800-foot HR here. But RIP Jose Fernandez; you were pretty cool :)
  24. Chicago Cubs: The most obnoxious fans in baseball. Especially now with all the [redacted] bandwagoners coming out of the woodwork. At least you can scalp your tix for a big profit with them. Suckers.
  25. NY Mets: They were okay until they signed Jose Reyes. I do like their pitchers though.
  26. St Louis Cardinals: "Best fans in Baseball" shtick is really annoying and stupid. May they be doomed to play in the "Best Division in Baseball" and miss the playoffs with 90 wins for many years to come.
  27. LA Dodgers: I almost ranked them decently high because I love Clayton Kershaw (we also share the same name too! Claytons represent!), but then I remember how they spend more money each year than some small countries, and don't somehow manage to win 100 games per year.
  28. NY Yankees: Just because they were kinda mediocre the last 2 years doesn't give them a pass. They employ Aroldis Chapman, they don't want poor fans in the seats, and I'm still sick of the Jeter farewell media circlejerk.
  29. Boston Red Sox: I could just leave this by saying "2007", but I also immensely dislike human werewolf Dustin Pedroia. Boston in general just kinda peeves me to an extent no other city comes close to. Also, a super gimmicky park that if it weren't 100 years old, it would have been torn down and erased from history from shame. At least the David Ortiz farewell wasn't as obnoxious as Jeter's. Thank goodness, or else they may have eclipsed the worst team ever!
  30. San Francisco Giants: Who else? From having Timmy accuse the Rockies of cheating whenever he'd lose to us, to Angel Pagan looking like a creepy Jesus cosplayer, to Bumgardner hating Fun and All Its Derivatives because he's a sore loser, playing in an overrated city where renting a broom closet requires the salary of a neuropathologist, who else could have possibly taken the title of Worst Team Ever?

    Thanks for reading folks! Leave your comments and discussions in the comments below, and don't forget to vote in the poll!

Eat. Drink. Be Merry. But the above FanPost does not necessarily reflect the attitudes, opinions, or views of Purple Row's staff (unless, of course, it's written by the staff [and even then, it still might not]).