Rockies reliever Scott Oberg is two pitchers

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In 2016, Scott Oberg surrendered 15 earned runs in 26 innings. That’s good for a 5.19 ERA and a fanbase unsure if the young reliever will ever fulfill the potential the organization saw in him.

But, what if I told you, 11 of those earned runs were in four appearances and 5²⁄₃ innings? What if I told you that if you took out those four appearances Oberg had four earned runs in 20¹⁄₃ innings which was a 1.77 ERA?

It’s happening again in 2017, Oberg has given up six runs in 13 innings of relief for an early 4.15 ERA that has people wondering again if Scott deserves a spot in this bullpen at all. But three of those runs happened in the Nationals game, you take that inning out and it’s three earned in 12 innings, a 2.25 ERA. Suddenly, Scott’s start looks good, he looks professional and a valuable right handed arm for Bud Black to deploy.

There are two Scott Obergs.

The evidence is right in front of our eyes.

The first Scott Oberg, hereby known as Oberg ONE, is a good pitcher. He allows very few runs, he throws 97 low and inside, he can fool hitters with his delivery. He’s also a nice guy that donates to the humane society and walks old people across the street.

The second Scott Oberg, hereby known as Oberg TWO, is a bad pitcher. He throws 94 in the middle of the plate, his pitches are spotted immediately out of the hand, he trips toddlers at the park and votes against Zoo funding bills.

Oberg TWO is a dreaded imposter, a fake stealing the identity of Oberg ONE for financial gain and to ruin the lives of Rockies fans. I do not know how Oberg TWO overwhelms Oberg ONE to come into the games that he does, but I know for certain this not just one man. How can one man be so good in some appearances and so, so bad in others? How can this happen? Simple answer: it cannot. These are two men.

There is no way to tell which Oberg is which until they start pitching. This makes it extremely difficult for Bud Black, Jeff Bridich, or any fan to recognize they’ve been duped until it’s already too late. This means we must have a police officer on stand by and when Oberg TWO starts to struggle and suck as a pitcher we snag him.

Oberg TWO will claim there is only one Scott Oberg he will kick and scream that this is simply an inconsistent pitcher struggling to get guys out consistently. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. He is an imposter and identity theft is a crime that affects hundreds of thousands of families every year.

We must stay vigilant and not allow Oberg TWO to control us any longer, we must fight back. Oberg ONE is the true Oberg, the good Oberg, the Oberg we love. Oberg ONE must be fought for.

★ ★ ★

The Good Tweet of the Week

Every week I’m prowling the timeline looking for good tweets from Rockies fans, Rockies players, and Rockies minor leaguers. I will highlight my favorite tweet of each week in this section. This week, the Good Tweet (TM) comes from Tim E, a Rockies tweeter that deserves your retweets and likes.

My word...is it true?

Mark Trumbo, in 109 ABs, has two home runs, four doubles, and a .568 OPS.

Ian Desmond, in 19 ABs, has two home runs, and a 1.053 OPS.

Wow.

I for one definitely predicted that. I’m smart and never wrong. I’m always right so when the Rockies signed Ian Desmond I thought to myself “that is definitely a better signing than Mark Trumbo.”

Also currently, in 96 ABs, Edwin Encarnacion has four home runs and only one double—a .667 OPS.

Basically, this proves all doubters wrong and anyone who argues that this is a small sample size is a nerd.

★ ★ ★

Nolan Arenado vs.

In this section, we will put All-World third baseman Nolan Arenado against random things I can think of in the world. I’ll compare and contrast these things and pick a winner. Tweet at me new things for Arenado to fight @rockiesVSconnor.

This week, I’ve put Nolan Arenado up against a gorilla.

Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images

Gorillas like that one above are massive animals with seemingly unlimited strength and a brain that can learn concepts and ideas. The possibility of teaching a gorilla baseball is far fetched but ultimately I think it’s possible. Maybe not the strategies and unwritten rules, but certainly the basic concept that you hit a ball with a stick and run to things.

Where the gorilla would fail would ultimately be on defense. I don’t think any gorilla would be able to turn a double play or charge a baseball to make a close play at first. Basically, the gorilla would be a liability in the field no matter how well he slugged.

Nolan’s exceptional defense puts him above the gorilla. Nolan wins again.

★ ★ ★

Rockies are winning the World Series

Hmm, 4-2 since I made this proclamation.

BOOK IT.