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A Rockies fan’s rulebook

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What to do and not do while at the ballpark

It’s finally here, the greatest day of the year, the Rockies Home Opener! As a long time season ticket holder, I’ve been fortunate enough to attend all but a couple of the previous 26 home openers. Over the years and with the help of some of my baseball loving friends, (and perhaps one or two Coors Lights), we’ve studied the fan experience and have come up with some friendly guidelines. As a public service, I wanted to pass on some suggestions to those of you heading to Coors Field today or throughout the season. Here are Tim and Co.’s Baseball Fan Rules.

Attire

  • Besides Rockies gear, it’s also okay to wear gear from the opposing team or the Rockies minor league affiliates. Throwback jerseys for long ago stars of your favorite team are also a great way to go. But once a player is traded or leaves for another team you can no longer wear his jersey to the ballpark – keep the Tulo jersey at home for washing the car.
  • Don’t wear Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs, etc. stuff if they’re not playing against the Rockies that day.
  • It’s a baseball game – leave your Broncos, Avs, Nuggets and other NFL, NHL and NBA stuff at home. The exception is if your team is in the NBA or NHL finals.

During action

  • The wave is never, ever, ever appropriate at a baseball game, if you have any questions, ask Kyle Freeland what he thinks.
  • Cheer at appropriate times of the game, not when the scoreboard tells you to. I will not tell you when that is.
  • If there’s a critical at bat during the game, I’m going to stand up and cheer until it’s over. Please don’t yell “down in front” or “sit down” — stand up and cheer with me!
  • Texting is permissible between innings, but talking on your cell phone while in your seat is prohibited. If you’re planning to look at your phone for the majority of the game, please move to the concourse or the Rooftop. This also goes for those who only look at the field when they are taking Instagram photos or taking their 3 selfies per game.
  • Do not head up to the concourse or down to your seat while the ball’s in play, pretend you’re at a hockey game where you will get hollered at for this error.
  • The ushers hold fans at the top of the aisle while a player is batting for a reason, so don’t weave your way through the 20 people patiently waiting and try and get to your seat.

Souvenirs

  • If you catch a foul ball you must immediately give it to a little kid near you wearing Rockies gear. The one exception where you can keep the ball is if you are actually injured trying to catch it, in which case you’ve earned it.
  • Home run balls hit by Rockies players can also be kept, but those hit by the opposing team must also be given to the nearest cute child.
  • Don’t ask players to throw you a ball if you’re over 12 years old. Just don’t.

General guidelines

  • The aisle of the main concourse is for walking, not standing and talking.
  • There is an entrance side (the right) and exit side (the left) to the restrooms, don’t try and enter on the exit side to cut the line. There are no signs for this, just be polite and follow the crowd.

And one final bonus comment (not really a fan rule):

  • The tooth brush race is so lame it is embarrassing. Replace this either with 4 beer bottles (Coors Banquet, Coors Light, Blue Moon and Colorado Native – it is Coors Field after all) – or copy the presidents race in DC with 4 giant bobbleheads of the Blake Street Bombers or even four 14er mountains (Pikes Peak, etc).

Do you have any fan rules to contribute? I look forward to adding them to the growing master list!