My Rockies fan Christmas list

On Christmas day, or whatever winter holiday you celebrate, it’s good to spend time with loved ones (even if it is over Zoom), be grateful for what you have, and reflect on the past while also taking stock of the year that’s coming to an end. It’s also a time of Christmas music. Even in a pandemic, holiday music abides and plants earworms in the heads of radio listeners and shoppers alike. My dentist even had the holiday jams rocking this week. When I heard “My Grownup Christmas List” this year, it made me think of what would be on a Rockies fan Christmas list. Instead of simply compiling a list, which might be pages long and get out of hand quickly, I decided to change the lyrics to the song. It’s not normal, but neither is 2020, so why not?

If you are not familiar with it, here is the Natalie Cole version, or the Amy Grant one, or the Kelly Clarkson version to round out the top three from Apple Music. If you would rather, here is an instrumental version you can play in the background as you read on if it helps to have the tunes going.

I apologize in advance for some extra syllables and some near rhymes, but the song has a weird rhyme scheme anyway. So, without further adieu, here is my Rockies fan Christmas list:

Do you remember when

You predicted win 91?

Mr. Monfort, why the delusional fantasies?

Well, we all wondered how

The same would be better now.

2020 was a mess,

The Rocks were far from best.

So here’s my win-more wish;

My Rockies fan Christmas list.

Yes, for myself

And for a team in need:

No more deals torn apart,

Feuds with players never start,

The front office takes analytics to heart,

And the bases would be full of men,

And the lineup would hit homers again,

And get a lefty in the ‘pen.

This is my Rockies fan Christmas list.

As fans we still believe

The grandest sight to see

Is Nolan on a knee

Starting a stunning 5-4-3.

But Bridich only knows

How to fully depose

Of an analytics crew

And a cheap David Dahl.

No more deals torn apart,

Feuds with players never start,

The front office takes analytics to heart,

And the bases would be full of men,

And the lineup would hit homers again,

And get a lefty in the ‘pen.

This is my Rockies fan Christmas list.

What is this illusion called?

The Bridich philosophy?

Maybe only in spring’s blind hope

Can an NL West title be reality.

No more deals torn apart,

Feuds with players never start,

The front office takes analytics to heart,

And the bases would be full of men,

And the lineup would hit homers again,

And get a lefty in the ‘pen.

This is my Rockies fan Christmas list.

This is my yearly ranting wish.

This is my Rockies fan Christmas list.

If you’re still reading, thanks for humoring me. Despite a challenging year in so many ways, I am grateful for the Purple Row community and the glimmer of hope of the idea of being able to take in a game at Coors Field sometime in the future, even if we don’t know when that is yet.

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Colorado Rockies: Who made the 2020 naughty and nice list? | Rox Pile

Kevin Henry’s list is pretty solid. Those expecting coal this morning are the left-handed relief pitchers, or more aptly, the lack thereof, Daniel Murphy, and the front office. The ones who woke up happy this morning would be Daniel Bard, Raimel Tapia, and the Rockies social media department, who continue to treat us to delights like this.

I might also add Antonio Senzatela to the nice list for his outstanding season and the naughty list should be longer than the nice this year for the Rockies. I would still count Wade Davis, Jake McGee, Bryan Shaw (probably for perpetuity for the financial fallout and impact on future decision making), as well as Jario Díaz, Carlos Estévez, and Ryan McMahon’s strikeouts.

1 holiday wish for all 30 MLB teams | MLB.com

Will Leach is pretty right on with this wish. Rockies fans want more than anything this holiday season is “Nolan Arenado clarity.” The rumor mill and uncertainty are brutal. However, Arenado actually being traded would be worse.

Why still care about the Rockies? It’s your turn to explain | The Athletic ($)

This is a very moving piece with Rockies fans sharing some endearing memories, expressing never-ending loyalty, or shamelessly admitting they are ready to break up with the organization, stating, “I’ve found myself with a wandering eye and creating an account on MLB Tinder.” While I can’t imagine ever reaching that point, which is possibly a big part of the problem with a front office that isn’t held accountable for losing, it was nice to read validating opinions in a virtual community that shares front office frustrations mixed with love for players, history, and the sunsets at Coors Field, much like we have here at Purple Row.

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