Colorado Rockies news: Hello, baseball? Please come back. We miss you.

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Two weeks ago, I asked if it would be too much to have a baseball season uninterrupted by a global pandemic.

One week ago I rescinded that statement and opined that the global pandemic needed to interrupt the baseball season.

That evening, the NBA cancelled its season.

That was ONE WEEK AGO, you guys. That really escalated quickly.

Trigger Warning: This post contains realistic levels of pessimism and some potentially unsavory language in direct quotes from other news outlets.

How Many Games Can MLB Realistically Play in 2020? | Fangraphs

Fangraphs adorably suggests that because the earliest teams could reconvene would be May 11, games could begin on May 21. Logistically, this would be ideal because it’s the Thursday before Memorial Day and is the absolute earliest possible start date given CDC restrictions.

If games managed to start around Memorial Day, that would mean 48 games missed, or a 114-game season. Fangraphs thinks we could extend the season until October 11 or October 25, meaning we could get in 126 or 138 games.

Of course, that’s not happening. Can you imagine playing a World Series in New York in late November? And even if the pandemic is over by May 11 (which seems unlikely), starting pitchers weren’t stretched out to begin with, and now they’re going to have at least two months off. A 10-day Spring Training would not cut it. Bud Black has opined that pitchers would need at least three weeks ($) to be ready for games, which would mean the earliest Opening Day would be around June 4.

In this scenario, teams would miss 61 games, leaving a 101-game season. If MLB extended the season until October 11, teams could potentially play 113 games.

But that still assumes teams can reconvene on May 11. What if that’s not possible?

Starting the season on July 2 would leave 75 games, or possibly up to 87.

Starting the season on July 16 would leave 65 games, or possibly up to 77.

No matter how you interpolate this, it’s looking pretty unlikely that the Rockies will win 94 games this year.

MLB coronavirus shutdown: These nine lingering questions must be answered before baseball returns | CBS Sports

How many games will they play?

Hey, we already talked about that!

What will the postseason look like?

Um, it turns out that after 80 games last season, the Rockies had the first Wild Card spot. So ... good?

How long will Spring Training be?

This article suggests two weeks, followed by 28-man rosters at the beginning of the season. So I guess we can expect it to be somewhere between 10 and 30 days.

Will there be an All-Star Game?

Seems unlikely.

When will the trade deadline be?

I’m glad someone is thinking about these things because right now I’m just like, “Want baseball,” and all the minutia seems like ... well, minutia.

Will the players get paid when they’re not playing?

Maybe not. Standard contracts state that teams don’t have to pay players in the case of a national emergency, and MLB cited the national emergency as the reason for pushing back the start of the season.

What will happen with service time?

A full year of service time is 172 days. The season will not be 172 days.

Will free agency be affected?

Meaning: Will teams play players less and give them shorter contracts?

What will happen with the draft?

Scouting isn’t allowed right now, and most colleges and high schools have cancelled their seasons.

The answer to these questions is mostly the same: Who knows? We’re kind of just of taking this whole situation one day at a time, one pitch at a time.

MLB teams pledge $30M to help cover lost wages for ballpark employees | ESPN

Rockies, other MLB teams, to donate $1 million to ballpark employees | Denver Post ($)

With so many people out of work right now, it’s nice to hear the teams are going to pay the people they’d already hired to run their ballparks. I’m not going to try to do the math to see if it works out. Let’s just pretend it does.

Of course, as Jeff Passan points out, teams are currently not paying their minor leaguers, and we don’t know if they’ll be paying their major leaguers either.

‘So damn frustrating’: Padres’ Tommy Pham raises players’ concerns as coronavirus shuts down MLB | USA Today

So the Denver Post couldn’t even say “sucks,” but USA Today can say “damn.” OK.

Tommy Pham says the prevailing sentiment is that the season could start in June or July at the earliest, or maybe even August.

Currently, the players’ union is paying up to $1,100 per week for major leaguers until April 9, when the clubs are supposed to take over. But the players don’t actually know what’s going on with the financials either.

As Pham says, it’s “a (expletive)-show.”

Also, USA Today can say “ass.”

And do comma splices.

With no MLB, college or high school action, baseball fans must latch onto the parts of the game that remain | Denver Post ($)

Kyle Newman of the Denver Post has this advice to anyone suffering from baseball withdrawal: Go play catch with your son. Or, if you don’t have a son, with your dog. He does not include advice on what to do if you don’t have a son or a dog.

★ ★ ★

On that note, let’s shift gears a bit. A friend of mine suggested I follow Twins Daily’s lead and do a fun post, such as ranking the Rockies’ roster by attractiveness. That sounds a little too mean to me — I mean, I would feel horrible for whoever I ranked #25.

So instead, I’ve come up with some award categories based on the Rockies’ Photo Day portraits (and some other photos courtesy of the Rockies’ photo blog and Getty Images). Each week I’ll present two categories, and you can vote on who should win the award. Sound like fun? No, of course not! We’re living in a brave new world where fun no longer exists. But this is at least a neat simulation of what fun used to feel like.

Best Hair: Photo Day

1. Raimel Tapia