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Those pesky Nolan Arenado trade rumors that nobody cares about right now because we all just miss baseball so much

Rockies news and links for Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Today is April Fool’s Day.

Good one, 2020. You got us.

Baseball’s delay means dwindling chances for Rockies fans to see the franchise’s greatest player, Nolan Arenado, in purple pinstripes | Denver Post ($)

Well, this is a dismal take. “Yeah, there’s no baseball right now, but even when baseball comes back, here are the reasons it’s going to suck.” Is Kyle Newman okay? Should we check in on him?

Friends, I’d like your take on this. Is this something you’re worried about right now?

Personally, while I’d obviously love for Nolan to be with the Rockies forever, I’m so desperate for baseball that I think my current wish list goes something like this:

1. Baseball. Any baseball. For the love of god let’s just have some baseball.

2. Nolan playing baseball.

3. Nolan playing baseball for the Rockies.

This is how bad it’s gotten: I just thought about Nolan being a Dodger and was like, “I guess I could watch the Dodgers.”


Anyway, all of this leads me to an important question. In the spirit of Rockies Madness (and in memory of March Madness), let’s take a look at the Championship Round of Who Would You Rather Have?

Colorado Rockies v Los Angeles Dodgers Photo by Jayne Kamin-Oncea/Getty Images
On Set Of ‘Thor: Ragnarok’ In Brisbane Photo by Steve Pohlner/Newspix/Getty Images


Who would you rather have?

This poll is closed

  • 90%
    Nolan Arenado
    (326 votes)
  • 9%
    Thor without hat
    (35 votes)
361 votes total Vote Now

Q&A: Dick Monfort Dishes on the Challenges of Running the Rockies in 2020 | 5280

Dick Monfort explains the two main reasons he doesn’t sign a lot of free agents:

1. The Rockies don’t have a lot of money.

Key points:

  • The Dodgers make way more money.
  • Sure, the Rockies sell a lot of tickets, but a lot of them are cheap tickets.
  • It was going to cost them way more to maintain the land over the next 30 years than McGregor Square will bring in, so they’re not really going to make money from that.

There’s a lot to interpolate here.

But I call no way.

2. Dick Monfort falls in love with his players and doesn’t want to trade them.

Key points:

  • That one time, he didn’t trade Pedro Astacio.
  • The Rockies were one of the first teams to say, “We’re going to be a draft-and-develop team.”
  • His three-year plan includes keeping Ryan McMahon, Nolan Arenado, Trevor Story, David Dahl, Tony Wolters, Kyle Freeland, and Germán Márquez.
  • His three-year plans usually don’t come to fruition.

Some of this is definitely true.

Is it just me, or do all of Dick Monfort’s interviews come off as a little defensive?

Rockies’ Top 5 first basemen: Harding’s take |

The top two are obvious here. But after Todd Helton and Andrés Galarraga, who else is there? Only seven Rockies have played more than 100 games at first, so there aren’t really that many to choose from. Thomas Harding went with Justin Morneau, Mark Reynolds, and Jason Giambi.

Fun fact: I originally typed “Justing” and “Giambia” because my brain shut off somewhere around the time baseball went away.

New study says 2019 playoff balls were de-juiced, but MLB still has no answers | New York Daily News

MLB and Rawlings have assured us that the 2019 playoff balls were the same as the 2019 regular season balls. Science disagrees. Turns out the playoffs used a random assortment of balls from 2019, 2018, and earlier years.

This sounds like a great idea! I would have thrown in some Wiffle balls and Super Balls just for fun.

Dr. James Andrews Halts Tommy John Surgeries During Coronavirus Pandemic | Sports Illustrated

Were you wondering how all these players kept getting Tommy John surgery despite all the restrictions on nonessential medical procedures and surgeries? Well, rest assured that Dr. James Andrews is complying with Florida’s executive order (issued March 20) and will not be performing any more Tommy John surgeries for the foreseeable future. The executive order obviously did not apply to Thor, who had Tommy John surgery last week, because he is not of this world and thus not subject to the laws of mere mortals.

★ ★ ★

Time to dish out some awards. First up: last week’s winners.

Best Facial Hair: Charlie Blackmon

Fun fact: I originally titled this category “Most Likely To Have A Woodchuck Living In His Beard.” Chuck would have won that one too.

Colorado Rockies Photo Day Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images

Most Likely To Be The Love Interest In The Movie Version Of A YA Novel: Trevor Story

It was the smirk, right?

Photo by Matt Dirksen, Rockies Photo Blog

Everything is the worst right now, so I thought this week we’d start out with something uplifting.

Most Just Happy To Be Here:

1. Josh Fuentes

Photo by Matt Dirksen, Kyle Cooper & Jennifer Stewart/Rockies Photo Blog

A lot of the players look very serious or thoughtful in their photos. Not Josh Fuentes, though.

2. Brendan Rodgers

Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images

Rodgers also did not get the memo about looking serious and/or thoughtful.

3. Raimel Tapia

Photo by Matt Dirksen, Kyle Cooper & Jennifer Stewart/Rockies Photo Blog

Honestly, it’s hard to find a picture of Tapia where he’s not smiling.

4. José Mujica

Colorado Rockies Spring Training Photo by RJ Sangosti/MediaNews Group/The Denver Post via Getty Images

The same is true of José Mujica.

4. Tim Melville

Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images



Most Just Happy To Be Here

This poll is closed

  • 45%
    Josh Fuentes
    (73 votes)
  • 4%
    Brendan Rodgers
    (7 votes)
  • 24%
    Raimel Tapia
    (39 votes)
  • 5%
    José Mujica
    (9 votes)
  • 19%
    Tim Melville
    (31 votes)
159 votes total Vote Now

And in case happiness just pisses you off right now, I have a category for you too.

Most Sick Of This Crap

1. Scott Oberg

Colorado Rockies Photo Day Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images

“You want me to do what? Smile?”

2. Wade Davis

Colorado Rockies Photo Day Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images

“Do I have to hold the ball this close to my face? It smells really bad.”

3. Bryan Shaw

Colorado Rockies Photo Day Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images

This is clearly a robot. Bryan Shaw must have gotten sick of this crap long ago and sent a robot in his place.

4. Daniel Murphy

Colorado Rockies Photo Day Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images

“This is my happy face.”

5. Germán Márquez

Photo by Matt Dirksen/Rockies Photo Blog

“Child, please.”


Most Sick Of This Crap

This poll is closed

  • 33%
    Scott Oberg
    (50 votes)
  • 8%
    Wade Davis
    (12 votes)
  • 14%
    Bryan Shaw
    (21 votes)
  • 16%
    Daniel Murphy
    (25 votes)
  • 27%
    Germán Márquez
    (40 votes)
148 votes total Vote Now