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Rewinding to old Rockies commercials

Colorado Rockies news and links for Sunday, November 21, 2021

Growing up watching Rockies baseball from 2007-2013, one of my favorite things was the goofy commercials the team made. The humorous sketches combined with the hilariously amateur acting skills of the ballplayers made me nostalgic to revisit them and see if they still hold up. Lucky for us, the Rockies have an entire playlist on YouTube dating back to their commercials in the early ‘90s all the way up to their last iterations in 2016. So let’s make some popcorn, lay back in our favorite recliner, and look back at some of my favorite Rockies commercials.

2007- Humidor

This classic commercial is one of my favorite moments of the Rockies trolling other teams. The implementation of the humidor at Coors Field caused many teams to complain that the Rockies were potentially cheating and giving all the “bad balls” to the visiting team. That thought process gives life to this sketch as pitchers Jeff Francis and Aaron Cook smell baseballs like they’re cigars and keep all the good pitches for themselves. The deadpan delivery of “No I’m Canadian” by Francis at the end kills me every time.

2012- The Mentor

This commercial sees Giambi in various parts of the clubhouse handing out encouragement and advice to the young players all while talking like Jedi Master Yoda. Giambi was a great veteran leader and mentor for the Rockies for several seasons and while he won’t be winning any Oscars for this performance, the Star Wars premise is enough to crack me up. The confusion of all the players, especially a beardless Charlie Blackmon in the video room, makes this one a classic in my eyes.

2008- Dodgeball

Aaron Cook and Jeff Francis return to play some dodgeball with their teammates in this commercial. It’s a pretty simple premise where they take turns picking players for their team with Ryan Spilborghs being picked last in a comical fashion after Cook’s team decides to take Dinger. What gets me every time however is the bizarre costumes these guys are wearing. All the players look like they're about to go play some semi-pro basketball with Jackie Moon. Cook has a sweet mullet, Garrett Atkins looks like Magnum P.I. and Spilly has the biggest afro possible. I would have loved to see how this game turned out, but the setup in the sketch is pretty satisfying.

2008- Holliday Touched It

Another great example of the Rockies trolling another team, this commercial heralds back to Game 163 in 2007 in which the Rockies beat the San Diego Padres to advance to the playoffs and keep Rocktober alive. Padres fans still believe that he never touched home plate, but all of us in Colorado know the truth, and this commercial proves it.

2013- Batting Coach

I was pretty excited with it was announced that Dante Bichette would be the Rockies hitting coach in 2013. The Rockies took advantage of that history for this commercial where Bichette appears to be teaching players about the fundamentals of hitting. The kicker of it actually being about how to have a proper mullet is comedic genius, and Bichette being bald makes it all that better. I’m also glad that Charlie Blackmon changed his opinion on mullets.

2009- Players Adjust to Home

With the offseason in full swing now, this commercial seems quite applicable. Seeing different Rockies players at home trying to adjust from baseball habits cracks me up. Chris Iannetta crouching at the dinner table is something I always think about, but it’s Garrett Atkins busting a giant hole in the wall with his bat while trying to hammer a nail that makes me laugh every time.

2010- Twitter

Todd Helton had a number of classic commercial appearances during his career with the Rockies, but this one where Dexter Fowler explains what Twitter is, only to be roasted by Helton is a classic. The dynamic that the veteran Helton had with his young teammates over the years is something we didn’t get to see much behind the scenes, but this commercial gives a glimpse of what things were probably like in the clubhouse.

2016- Charlie’s Dream

From the last batch of Rockies commercials that have been made, this commercial features a number of Rockies players sporting fake beards during a Charlie Blackmon dream. Carlos González probably has the best facial hair in this commercial because of how it makes him look and the stinger at the end of Blackmon admonishing D.J. LeMahieu to never grow a beard is also a nice touch.

There are many other Rockies commercials that I love and didn’t have the time to put them all in this article. While revisiting the playlist on the Rockies YouTube channel, I couldn’t help but feel like the team needs to revive their commercials because they are so much fun. I especially feel like the current roster of players would fit well into a series of commercials and would connect with fans even more. So, here’s hoping the Rockies can bring back their commercial, or at least let Spilly bring back his “Spill the Beans” series.

What are some of your favorite Rockies commercials? Sound off in the comments below!

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