Dick Monfort's True Letter to Season Ticket Holders

From the desk of Dick Monfort:

Dear season ticket holders,

Another year has come and gone and for the 30th straight year, we did not win the division. But the Dodgers won 111 games, so why bother trying, right? It's tough to meet expectations in this business, but we managed to do so, winning 68 games. The wise guys in Vegas sure are good, aren't they? The bad news is that our draft order will be determined by lottery and we finished just outside the bottom six so our chances of getting a truly high draft pick are negligible. Why did we win 2 out of the last 3 against the Dodgers again?

When reflecting back on the season, it's not hard to see why we lost. We hit fewer home runs on the road as a team than Aaron Judge did, Kris Bryant injured everything, we fielded like the Bad News Bears, and our starting pitching made me question why we spend money on a humidor. But reinforcements are coming. The Arenado trade continues to pay dividends--to the Cardinals who wisely invested the 51 million we sent them. Our own Farm System is loaded with talent-- at the low A level--so by 2026 you should see the results on the field. And we plan on signing free agents--a washed up middle reliever, to be exact, who will have an ERA higher than 5.00. But I can guarantee we will offer Aaron Judge a contract that will be just low enough to make us second in the bidding.

The good news is that McGregor Square continues to rake in cash. I mean who wouldn't pay more money to play Putt Putt than it takes to go to a Rockies games, right? And we were 10th in attendance despite having only the 17th highest payroll, with $64 million of that finishing on Injured Reserve. The best news of all, however, is that all you fans of other teams will be able to see your teams in person starting next year. The balanced schedule means we will play all 15 American League teams. Come root, root for the road team at Coors Field next year. And have a complimentary cocktail on me at the Party Deck. In honor of Drew Goodman, it's called the "Upper Dick Shot."

For the true Rockies fans that are still out there, I have bad news. Our deal to broadcast games on Altitude fell through so you will still be able to watch our games on Comcast. So you'll just have to tough it out another decade until we make the playoffs again.


Dick Monfort

Eat. Drink. Be Merry. But the above FanPost does not necessarily reflect the attitudes, opinions, or views of Purple Row's staff (unless, of course, it's written by the staff [and even then, it still might not]).